There are lakes and things like that in the countryside, but before I became a Scout, I'd never been.
This was the closest thing we had to a real body of water.
[He looks at Aubrey, tilting his head to the side just so, as if considering something.]
You know...the more I think about it, it must have been the ocean that drew me to this place. I had this book...
It was illegal. It had information about the world outside of the walls.
Nothing about Marley, or anything like that. Just...bodies of water, filled with salt, that stretch out so far in every direction that you can't see the other side. Fiery water that flows between rocks and bursts out of mountains. Green lights in the sky that look like magic...
[Briefly, he bends forward to kiss Eren on his temple.]
Eren took me to all of those places. When we were talking just before he died. That reality he made...for me.
[When Armin looks at her, Aubrey swings focus back. As he talks, she finds herself a bit lost, watching him; the strength of his own nostalgia, maybe. The story itself. His face. Echoes of awe…
[She sees that in him, still. He kisses Eren, and it means everything.]
[A cabin for Mikasa; forbidden wonders for Armin. Worlds, just for them, in farewell.]
[She loves him; she loves him; she loves them.]
[After a quiet;] And it’s always the ocean you go back to, huh…
[It’s beautiful; it’s jarring; it’s hope— No. Traces of it, maybe. But there was more, and that’s why Armin can’t speak of it as fondly, and Eren has truly always, always, always been on this path, hasn’t he?
[Well. He was. And the ocean ran red for it.
[But Armin can’t hate it.]
[The emotion in his voice tugs at Aubrey; she reaches for his hand.]
I really can't describe how strange it felt to learn that there was an entire world outside of what we knew.
It's easy to talk freely about it now - Paradis, Marley. An island, a continent. But we didn't even know what the word "island" meant for most of our lives. All we knew was what was inside the walls. We might have thought the world outside was worth exploring, but as far as we knew, all of humanity lived inside of those walls...
[He shakes his head, brow pinching together in a pained expression.]
The population of Paradis made up only 20% of the world's population, and we thought that was all there was.
[She just squeezes his hand. Imagining that boat going back and forth, back and forth, day after day… always a straight line, never off course. Like the pacing of a caged animal.]
[She’s starting to notice that Armin smiles a lot. It’s nothing new, really; maybe it’s the scene, peaceful and quiet, that makes it stand out more. He doesn’t have to force it.
[But she gets it.]
[Aubrey nods, quiet again for a while. The ocean must’ve been a fairytale next to this, and then he saw it. And now…]
You know, when you talked about making life beautiful here… what would that look like to you? [Somehow she doubts it’s the flat backdrop.]
[Correct; having no idea where Eren and his fangirl went will bring Levi so much peace when he wakes up!]
Hah. I wouldn’t call it cheap… just cheesy. [As if they haven’t been utter saps within inches of their lives; just last talk, even. It’s hard to sound too teasing even now, watching Armin run his fingers through Eren’s hair.]
You think we’d all survive in an empty room together? [It’s fortunate that, with Eren and Reiner having apparently reconciled, Aubrey can say this and mean it as a joke.]
[Oh yeah. Armin would have taken that question a lot more seriously before he and the others took a detour home.]
Not without going a little insane, I don't think. [With yet another smile.]
You said that Eren and Reiner are getting along now? I haven't seen him yet - Reiner, I mean.
That really is a fortunate thing if they are. [To put it lightly.] They care about each other a lot, I think.
[In Armin's lap, Eren's body tenses. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything...]
Well. Anyway. What do you think would make this world beautiful, Aubrey? Honestly, I'd be surprised if your answer was much different than mine, though you wouldn't have me believe it. [There is some teasing there.]
[That tension… Aubrey’s brow creases slightly at it, and she’s glad Armin also seems eager to move on. She is fairly sure Eren and Reiner parted on good terms. But she’ll have to ask....]
[For now, she meets Armin’s tease with a playful] Hmph. I guess we wouldn’t go too insane....
But[, more genuinely,] you’re right. I guess I’d want some different people, too, but it’s the same idea.... No invasive games, or anything. More like this, just… being together. Anywhere.
[She cannot fathom a scenario in which at least one person’s anxieties wouldn’t get projected for all to see.]
[She sighs. It’s still an ache, but it’s duller after Armin held her through it.]
To be fair… you guys could really use the break. [It’s not so much that Aubrey doesn’t want to talk about it; she just… has, sort of. What else is there to say?] I know we’d all move on with our lives anywhere… but there’s just. So much you guys haven’t gotten to see.
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There are lakes and things like that in the countryside, but before I became a Scout, I'd never been.
This was the closest thing we had to a real body of water.
[He looks at Aubrey, tilting his head to the side just so, as if considering something.]
You know...the more I think about it, it must have been the ocean that drew me to this place. I had this book...
It was illegal. It had information about the world outside of the walls.
Nothing about Marley, or anything like that. Just...bodies of water, filled with salt, that stretch out so far in every direction that you can't see the other side. Fiery water that flows between rocks and bursts out of mountains. Green lights in the sky that look like magic...
[Briefly, he bends forward to kiss Eren on his temple.]
Eren took me to all of those places. When we were talking just before he died. That reality he made...for me.
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[When Armin looks at her, Aubrey swings focus back. As he talks, she finds herself a bit lost, watching him; the strength of his own nostalgia, maybe. The story itself. His face. Echoes of awe…
[She sees that in him, still. He kisses Eren, and it means everything.]
[A cabin for Mikasa; forbidden wonders for Armin. Worlds, just for them, in farewell.]
[She loves him; she loves him; she loves them.]
[After a quiet;] And it’s always the ocean you go back to, huh…
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Seeing it for the first time...it was all I could do not to cry. I used to dream about what it might look like, feel like, smell like...
There was so much salt that it stung my eyes just standing too close. It felt...profound.
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[It… explains a lot, somehow.
[It’s the only one Aubrey’s seen, too. Always a special day out…]
Was it all that you imagined?
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[He has to clear his throat, but it doesn't quite work. His eyes are stinging with salt.]
Crossing that ocean...it led to so much turmoil...
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[The memory—
[It’s beautiful; it’s jarring; it’s hope— No. Traces of it, maybe. But there was more, and that’s why Armin can’t speak of it as fondly, and Eren has truly always, always, always been on this path, hasn’t he?
[Well. He was. And the ocean ran red for it.
[But Armin can’t hate it.]
[The emotion in his voice tugs at Aubrey; she reaches for his hand.]
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I'm sorry. I didn't think I'd get emotional like this.
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[She squeezes back. But the smile is less certain.] It’s alright....
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Seems like Eren and I remember that day a little differently.
I'm sad for that.
He always wanted it too.
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[She wasn’t sure, really; but that’s confirmation enough. Actually, she didn’t realize it wasn’t quite Armin’s....]
More than either of you ever dreamed, I guess.
[His father’s memories… Aubrey clamps that thought before Armin sees something he shouldn’t.]
It’s a lot.
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It's easy to talk freely about it now - Paradis, Marley. An island, a continent. But we didn't even know what the word "island" meant for most of our lives. All we knew was what was inside the walls. We might have thought the world outside was worth exploring, but as far as we knew, all of humanity lived inside of those walls...
[He shakes his head, brow pinching together in a pained expression.]
The population of Paradis made up only 20% of the world's population, and we thought that was all there was.
We were so ignorant back then...
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[More to Paradis; so much less than a world.]
[She just squeezes his hand. Imagining that boat going back and forth, back and forth, day after day… always a straight line, never off course. Like the pacing of a caged animal.]
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The Scout Regiment, you know...our entire purpose was to venture outside the walls, see what there was to see.
Eren really idolized them when we were kids. They'd come back with less numbers every time, but it never stopped them...
[There's a weighted pause.]
You know...in the end...that was really all for nothing, wasn't it?
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Nothing…?
[But you saw the ocean. Naive, isn’t it?]
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You're right. That matters. [He really means it.
[Stories, laughter, dreams; just because it's over doesn't mean it didn't matter.]
Thank you, Aubrey.
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[She’s starting to notice that Armin smiles a lot. It’s nothing new, really; maybe it’s the scene, peaceful and quiet, that makes it stand out more. He doesn’t have to force it.
[But she gets it.]
[Aubrey nods, quiet again for a while. The ocean must’ve been a fairytale next to this, and then he saw it. And now…]
You know, when you talked about making life beautiful here… what would that look like to you? [Somehow she doubts it’s the flat backdrop.]
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The beauty is really in the people you're with, don't you think?
Maybe that's a cheap answer. [His fingers comb through Eren's loose hair.]
All of those things I mentioned - the fiery water, lights in the sky, the sea - I want to see them all again, sure, but...
If it was just you and Eren and I - Mikasa and Reiner too - sitting in an empty room? I'd find that beautiful too.
[Don't mind him Not Thinking About Bertholdt and allowing Levi the peace that comes with being nowhere near them.]
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[Correct; having no idea where Eren and his fangirl went will bring Levi so much peace when he wakes up!]
Hah. I wouldn’t call it cheap… just cheesy. [As if they haven’t been utter saps within inches of their lives; just last talk, even. It’s hard to sound too teasing even now, watching Armin run his fingers through Eren’s hair.]
You think we’d all survive in an empty room together? [It’s fortunate that, with Eren and Reiner having apparently reconciled, Aubrey can say this and mean it as a joke.]
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Not without going a little insane, I don't think. [With yet another smile.]
You said that Eren and Reiner are getting along now? I haven't seen him yet - Reiner, I mean.
That really is a fortunate thing if they are. [To put it lightly.] They care about each other a lot, I think.
[In Armin's lap, Eren's body tenses. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything...]
Well. Anyway. What do you think would make this world beautiful, Aubrey? Honestly, I'd be surprised if your answer was much different than mine, though you wouldn't have me believe it. [There is some teasing there.]
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[That tension… Aubrey’s brow creases slightly at it, and she’s glad Armin also seems eager to move on. She is fairly sure Eren and Reiner parted on good terms. But she’ll have to ask....]
[For now, she meets Armin’s tease with a playful] Hmph. I guess we wouldn’t go too insane....
But[, more genuinely,] you’re right. I guess I’d want some different people, too, but it’s the same idea.... No invasive games, or anything. More like this, just… being together. Anywhere.
[She cannot fathom a scenario in which at least one person’s anxieties wouldn’t get projected for all to see.]
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It isn't really fair, is it? That we get so many from home, and you get so few...
I'm sorry for that, Aubrey.
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[She did.]
[She sighs. It’s still an ache, but it’s duller after Armin held her through it.]
To be fair… you guys could really use the break. [It’s not so much that Aubrey doesn’t want to talk about it; she just… has, sort of. What else is there to say?] I know we’d all move on with our lives anywhere… but there’s just. So much you guys haven’t gotten to see.
[My world is privileged.] It’s not the same.
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I guess you're right about that.
You and your friends...you must have something to lose by being here.
I really can't say that that's the same for most of us. At least, I know it's not the same for me.
[Glancing at her.] Not to assume, or anything like that.
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here lies flyleaf 1/2
2/2 she’s awake!
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this icon is so mild wtf (1/1)
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1/1 armin is just listening
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2/3 jk
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1/4 ICON ICON GOT TO USE THE ICON THE ICON THE--
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3/4 eren decreeth the polycule THUSLY
4/4 ARMIN BLAST
1/2 THE ICONNNN we a little split but tis the spirit
2/2 aubreremin REAL
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