[It’s a dreadful memory. Armin, young, his hair still long, standing in front of a full length mirror. The room reflected is empty - two beds and scarcely anything else. He’s staring at himself, tears slowly sliding down his cheeks. But he looks angry.]
You’re worthless.
[The hatred in his tone is more than palpable; it’s inescapable. He speaks through shaky breaths and withheld sobs, biting down hard on his lip when he starts to allow himself too much reprieve.]
You’re a worthless, stupid piece of shit.
Everyone is counting on you, and all you do— [He cuts himself off with the shortest little gasp of a sob. Then he reels his hand back and slaps himself hard in the face.
[There’s a long moment of silence, his head hung.]
All you do…is put the people you love at risk.
They chose you. This? This is how you repay them?
You’re a coward. You’re weak.
[Then, one full sob. He slaps his hand over his mouth to hide the sound. When he removes it:]
They should have let you die instea—-
[A voice through the door, calling. It’s Eren’s.]
“We gotta get going, Armin.”
[All at once, his demeanor changes. He straightens where he’s standing, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes. When he calls back, his voice is easy and pleasant. There’s not a trace of negative emotion left.]
[For the moment, it is unwelcome. He goes stiff when she touches him, frozen there in place. He's mortified. He's disgusted. The memory doesn't sadden him; it infuriates him. How could he let that slip through? How could he show them both that?
[He waits for her to pull away. Eren is shifting in his lap. The perfect detraction.
[Almost idly - it sounds bizarrely numb for Armin:]
[When Aubrey reaches for Eren's cheek, he reaches for hers. He can't help but give her his gaze for a moment. It feels like it's been days since he saw her last. How long was he asleep?
[He pushes himself up, Armin bracing him as he awkwardly twists himself out of their laps so he can sit on the ground himself. Once he settles, he points his stare at Armin.]
[Eren doesn't see much point in arguing. Armin is right. That memory is years old. Still, it makes Eren's heart twist with shame. How much time did Armin spend smacking himself in front of mirrors? And Eren never knew.
[He looks at Aubrey, seeking to exchange a glance. Maybe they both know that they won't get anywhere with him like this...]
How long was I asleep? [As if time can really be quantified here.]
[It's worth mentioning that, once the concern for Armin fades from Eren's face, he looks exhausted - exactly as if he had been sleeping for several days. He can't fight off a yawn, which he doesn't bother covering.
[Does he remember anything? His brow furrows with focus.]
I was dreaming...[But he never quite remembers exactly what he dreamt about.]
[The yawn reminds her a bit of the first she saw. What a lifetime ago....]
A lot. Captain Levi’s here now, and he wants a few words.... [And a few kicks, most likely, but if Aubrey’s around he won’t get them.] And Armin and I have been [with an awkward glance his way] …talking.
[To Eren:] It seemed like you could overhear a lot of it.
[It comes back in small bits and pieces as she explains. She'll have to explain more for him to get the full picture, but when it comes to Captain Levi...]
Yeah.
I do remember that, actually. [He's looking quite...cold again, suddenly.]
[Aubrey looks uneasy. Does he remember turning young, too?] He’ll want to actually talk with you, but… trust me, I’ll be there for that. [The “if I can,” as always, goes unsaid. She reaches for his hand.]
[Besides that…] Do you remember… any of the questions me and Armin got asked?
[He remembers feeling young. In his dream, he could have sworn that it was his mother he was clinging to; the safest thing he can imagine. But the pieces are falling into place now. How much of his dream was influenced by reality? He takes her hand; when she mentions she and Armin, his face goes pink, and he takes Armin's hand as well, averting his eyes. He can feel the blond man rubbing circles into his palm with his thumb.
["It was perfect." Eren, from Armin's perspective, with tears in his eyes. His cheeks are burning. That memory shouldn't have been shared. It should have only ever been Eren and Armin's. He can't meet either of their eyes.]
[Armin's voice is soft with shame. He feels like he could disappear; maybe, in this universe, he will if he isn't careful. He squeezes Eren's hand, mutually unable to meet his eyes.]
If I had to guess, [For the sake of ever untangling the mysteries of this realm:] I'd say that Eren probably picked up most of what was happening during that time.
no subject
[“I know it’s not the same for me.”]
Do you… want to talk about it?
no subject
Just...about that? [He's a very good liar. He looks genuinely unsure, like he doesn't quite know what Aubrey's talking about.]
There's not much to talk about, really. You know how things are back in my world. I'd rather be here. That's all.
[As if you could stand showing your face.]
no subject
[She shifts closer to him, taking his hand in both of hers.] That’s not what your thoughts are telling me.
here lies flyleaf 1/2
You’re worthless.
[The hatred in his tone is more than palpable; it’s inescapable. He speaks through shaky breaths and withheld sobs, biting down hard on his lip when he starts to allow himself too much reprieve.]
You’re a worthless, stupid piece of shit.
Everyone is counting on you, and all you do— [He cuts himself off with the shortest little gasp of a sob. Then he reels his hand back and slaps himself hard in the face.
[There’s a long moment of silence, his head hung.]
All you do…is put the people you love at risk.
They chose you. This? This is how you repay them?
You’re a coward. You’re weak.
[Then, one full sob. He slaps his hand over his mouth to hide the sound. When he removes it:]
They should have let you die instea—-
[A voice through the door, calling. It’s Eren’s.]
“We gotta get going, Armin.”
[All at once, his demeanor changes. He straightens where he’s standing, quickly wiping the tears from his eyes. When he calls back, his voice is easy and pleasant. There’s not a trace of negative emotion left.]
Just one second, Eren!
2/2 she’s awake!
💀🪦
[She throws her arms around him.] Armin—
[It’s tight; fleeting, in case unwelcome, but she can’t pull back far.] Armin… [Just his name, heartbroken.]
1/2
[He waits for her to pull away. Eren is shifting in his lap. The perfect detraction.
[Almost idly - it sounds bizarrely numb for Armin:]
You're awake...
2/2
What...was that for?
no subject
[Hasty, then. Aubrey used to be more distant. She lets go when Armin goes stiff, but Eren keeps her close— Eren!
[She reaches for his cheek, almost in disbelief. Only mouthing an echo: ‘You’re awake.’]
1/2
[He pushes himself up, Armin bracing him as he awkwardly twists himself out of their laps so he can sit on the ground himself. Once he settles, he points his stare at Armin.]
2/2
It was a long time ago.
no subject
You know how this place works. [Insistent. Blurted before the world can share the thought. Not… quite annoyed, but. It’s an overwhelm.]
[Aubrey wants Eren; she wants Eren; it’s been too long. But her gaze, too, falls back on Armin.]
1/3
I don't know what you want me to say.
2/3
3/3
no subject
[So they’ve had this talk before.]
We… we’re here for you, too, Armin.
That’s all. [It’s really not.]
1/2
I know. And I love you both for that. But I'm really alright.
[He isn't, of course. He's not even close.]
2/2
[He looks at Aubrey, seeking to exchange a glance. Maybe they both know that they won't get anywhere with him like this...]
How long was I asleep? [As if time can really be quantified here.]
no subject
[Ha, “I’m really alright.” “I’m fine;” been there, tried that. But she catches Eren’s look, and he’s right. Aubrey will play along.]
It felt like forever… I guess a day or two, but long days. [For whatever it’s worth, and all.] Do you remember anything…?
this icon is so mild wtf (1/1)
[Does he remember anything? His brow furrows with focus.]
I was dreaming...[But he never quite remembers exactly what he dreamt about.]
What did I miss?
no subject
[The yawn reminds her a bit of the first she saw. What a lifetime ago....]
A lot. Captain Levi’s here now, and he wants a few words.... [And a few kicks, most likely, but if Aubrey’s around he won’t get them.] And Armin and I have been [with an awkward glance his way] …talking.
[To Eren:] It seemed like you could overhear a lot of it.
1/1 armin is just listening
Yeah.
I do remember that, actually. [He's looking quite...cold again, suddenly.]
Seems he already got his words in.
no subject
Yeah…
[Aubrey looks uneasy. Does he remember turning young, too?] He’ll want to actually talk with you, but… trust me, I’ll be there for that. [The “if I can,” as always, goes unsaid. She reaches for his hand.]
[Besides that…] Do you remember… any of the questions me and Armin got asked?
1/2
["It was perfect." Eren, from Armin's perspective, with tears in his eyes. His cheeks are burning. That memory shouldn't have been shared. It should have only ever been Eren and Armin's. He can't meet either of their eyes.]
Some of them.
2/2
[Armin's voice is soft with shame. He feels like he could disappear; maybe, in this universe, he will if he isn't careful. He squeezes Eren's hand, mutually unable to meet his eyes.]
If I had to guess, [For the sake of ever untangling the mysteries of this realm:] I'd say that Eren probably picked up most of what was happening during that time.
It feels safe to assume you'll remember.
(no subject)
1/2
2/3 jk
3/3
(no subject)
1/2
2/2
(no subject)
1/1
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
2/2
(no subject)
1/1
(no subject)
1/4 ICON ICON GOT TO USE THE ICON THE ICON THE--
2/4
3/4 eren decreeth the polycule THUSLY
4/4 ARMIN BLAST
1/2 THE ICONNNN we a little split but tis the spirit
2/2 aubreremin REAL
1/2
2/2