[“I figured”…? —Oh, right. She really hasn’t been subtle. Hard to be too embarrassed, though; Armin gets it now.]
[The question, instead, gets the mildly sheepish side glance.] Hah, I… used to. Maybe I still would? [No point trying to lie.] I don’t believe in them, but it’s… a nice fantasy, I guess.
That’s kind of sad. [The thought leaves her mouth before she can think better of it.] Not even, I dunno, ’Min?
[Is Aubrey in a place to call Armin any sort of nickname? Probably no. Has the girl who named an aubergine toy “Mr. Eggplant” and a rabbit “Bun-Bun” gotten better at naming things? Absolutely not. Does she want to see how Armin will react anyway? Yeah.] Hope that’s not too close to a joke or anything.
[Hmm. All Aubrey can gauge is a vague sort of confusion. And a maybe-just-polite smile, but that’s Armin. He’s not one to show openly when he’s upset, anyway, is he?]
Just knocked a syllable off. [Small shrug.] Wasn’t sure if you’d take offense to it sounding small. [Y’know, “mini”…
[On something of a subconscious instinct, her left hand travels to her nape, rubbing at it as she recalls.] Eren took me to a tree once. [Aubrey’s face warms and she glances aside. There’s a faint smile in her voice.] He said it was special to him. It was… really nice.
[Never mind the preceding misery. That made it better, somehow; that she was a bloodshot, ragged mess, and Eren kissed her anyway. Eren Jaeger kissed her, illuminated by moonlight and fireflies, and they’d never felt so close before.
[The dance was wonderful, too, but… Aubrey kinda ruined that, in the end. Maybe next time, if they ever dare....]
[Lost briefly in the memory, Aubrey is oblivious to however Armin reacts immediately. She’s none the wiser about how much that place means to him, too.]
[Armin is relieved when Aubrey looks away. Her words feel like one dull, deep stab in the gut. There isn’t a doubt in Armin’s mind what tree she’s referring to; a special place to Eren. It was a special place to all of them. Maybe more to Armin than anyone.
[And so, none the wiser Aubrey remains. It’s not too surprising that Armin’s never been on a date, from what little she knows; it’s hard to imagine any of the soldiers in their world having time for such frivolities.]
[She doesn’t catch that the smile is a mask—but even if she did, it’d be for the wrong reasons.] Right.
[Ding!
[Oh, this one feels mean after that revelation. Nonetheless:]
[He hates this game, actually. Give the generic answer.]
I do, yeah.
It wasn’t uncommon for soldiers to sleep close in the barracks - limited beds and all that.
[There’s a compulsion to continue. This isn’t a game about comrades bonding. This is a game about romance. He tries to answer carefully enough to satisfy the universe.]
I enjoy it romantically also.
[Moving on—]
With a partner. When I was younger.
[Moving on.]
Sixty-nine. Do you prefer casual or serious relationships?
[A… partner? And yet he’s never been on a date? Also kind of sad. There’s a brief, vaguely concerned confusion on Aubrey’s face—but Armin doesn’t seem eager to talk about it, so she’ll skip to her answer.]
Serious. [It’s an easy one, weirdly.] It… wouldn’t really feel right, to me, to get someone’s hopes up if I didn’t plan on staying.
[All the more to people who can manage expectations. She is not one of those people.]
[Next!]
Uh, fifty-tw— Oh, come on. [Looking apologetic, again;] Want a different one? [Would the world allow that…?]
["It wouldn’t be right to get someone’s hopes up if I didn’t plan on staying." Armin’s throat feels tight; of course the world won’t let him avoid the cuddling question either.
[He has to fight to sound pleasant, and it might be a bit more obvious now.]
I don’t mind physical affection with him—
[Seriously?]
With the right person. Or with a friend if necessary.
[Aubrey notices, this time—the pronoun, sure, but the tension, too.]
Hey, uh. I should warn you… [Always her ripping off the damn bandaid, it seems. No less uncomfortable.] If there’s something you’ve been avoiding… this world will probably make you talk about it, sooner or later.
[A lesson, maybe. She won’t remind him out loud, though.]
[It’s impossible to be ready. As soon as Aubrey reads the question her hands clasp, the right pinching and rubbing at that “ring.” She’s still not sure if this is a reassuring gesture or not; it happens all the same.
[She stares down at it.] I… don’t know…?
[A compulsion; Aubrey folds, before it can get worse.]
I think I already am. However much that matters here— I mean, this wasn’t random.
[It’s more of a confirmation than a surprise; Armin knows what the left ring finger means. He’d tried to think of it as an engagement at least. His face goes a little red - embarrassment. It’s hard to keep the somewhat incredulous expression at bay.
[Eren never even talked about things like that with him.]
[A laugh, of some light and tentative sort, leaves Aubrey before she can hold back.] Hey, h-hey, that’s not one of the questions.... [It’s a nervous thing.]
[She glances at Armin. He’s embarrassed. Back down.]
[There’s a compulsion, again, to be honest. Aubrey’s not sure if it’s from the world or herself.] I don’t… know, really— I haven’t tried to take it off. [Herself, then. She knows the mark isn’t what Armin’s talking about.]
Sixteen is kinda young where I’m from… [Like, really young. Like, only absolute sweethearts—like Hero and Mari– don’t think about them now—would even seriously think about getting married fresh out of high school, at 18, young.]
Last we met, it was really good— but everything I told you before, that’s still true. [That wasn’t a happy admission, either.] I don’t know.
[It scares her. Like she’s not the one who met his intensity with a snarling vow right back. The physical proof is exciting as it is damning.]
[Aubrey needs to steel herself. These uneasy pauses are saying too much as-is.] It doesn’t really matter how I feel about it, does it?
[Armin observes the number. It’s too much. Not because he’s angry at Eren; he’s feeling spurned - that’s true. Eren has done more than enough to hurt him.
[Armin doesn’t care about that kind of hurt, really. They will lose Eren. That’s what lodges a lump in his throat.
[The rest doesn’t help. It’s all compounding. He wishes they were together. Why aren’t they ever together?]
What’s life without love, Aubrey? [His words crack.]
[It’s not as if this universe hasn’t targeted Armin before - he remembers the screens clearly - but this feels different. This feels worse. The question tears through him. He tries to picture what Eren’s face would look like if he were here to hear it, but of course, he’s not here. He’d probably just stare at Armin anyway.]
It was once.
[More. It’s starting to feel stupid to beat around the bush; humiliating.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hello boy~ welcome~
[With an affectionate (toward Aubrey) smile, knowing. If Eren weren’t alright, Aubrey would be in a much different state. Armin appreciates that.
[The questions role.]
Forty-seven. Do you enjoy fairytale romances?
-lights flickering on and off- welcome to hell! welcome to hell! welcome t
[“I figured”…? —Oh, right. She really hasn’t been subtle. Hard to be too embarrassed, though; Armin gets it now.]
[The question, instead, gets the mildly sheepish side glance.] Hah, I… used to. Maybe I still would? [No point trying to lie.] I don’t believe in them, but it’s… a nice fantasy, I guess.
[And thus, another roll.]
Fifty-five: How do you feel about pet names?
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[Who’s left to believe in fairytales at this point?]
I can’t say I’ve ever been called a pet name as anything other than a joke. [A short laugh.]
I’m not sure how I’d react.
[“Armin” in the right voice was good enough.]
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That’s kind of sad. [The thought leaves her mouth before she can think better of it.] Not even, I dunno, ’Min?
[Is Aubrey in a place to call Armin any sort of nickname? Probably no. Has the girl who named an aubergine toy “Mr. Eggplant” and a rabbit “Bun-Bun” gotten better at naming things? Absolutely not. Does she want to see how Armin will react anyway? Yeah.] Hope that’s not too close to a joke or anything.
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[If he’s in a bad mood, he doesn’t show it - and the name catches him by surprised.]
‘Min? [Does she…want to call him that?]
It doesn’t feel like a joke. You…could call me that if you wanted.
[A little smile.]
I wouldn’t mind.
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[Hmm. All Aubrey can gauge is a vague sort of confusion. And a maybe-just-polite smile, but that’s Armin. He’s not one to show openly when he’s upset, anyway, is he?]
Just knocked a syllable off. [Small shrug.] Wasn’t sure if you’d take offense to it sounding small. [Y’know, “mini”…
[A beat. Then an absent, quick smirk.]
A diminutive.
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Well, when you put it that way…
[It comes time to check for the next number.]
The next one is fourteen. What’s the best date you’ve ever been on?
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[Oh, easy.]
[On something of a subconscious instinct, her left hand travels to her nape, rubbing at it as she recalls.] Eren took me to a tree once. [Aubrey’s face warms and she glances aside. There’s a faint smile in her voice.] He said it was special to him. It was… really nice.
[Never mind the preceding misery. That made it better, somehow; that she was a bloodshot, ragged mess, and Eren kissed her anyway. Eren Jaeger kissed her, illuminated by moonlight and fireflies, and they’d never felt so close before.
[The dance was wonderful, too, but… Aubrey kinda ruined that, in the end. Maybe next time, if they ever dare....]
[Lost briefly in the memory, Aubrey is oblivious to however Armin reacts immediately. She’s none the wiser about how much that place means to him, too.]
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[His smile grows wider. It’s kind. It’s obliging. It’s affectionate. It’s bullshit.]
I’ve never been on a date, really.
Would you like to go next?
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[And so, none the wiser Aubrey remains. It’s not too surprising that Armin’s never been on a date, from what little she knows; it’s hard to imagine any of the soldiers in their world having time for such frivolities.]
[She doesn’t catch that the smile is a mask—but even if she did, it’d be for the wrong reasons.] Right.
[Ding!
[Oh, this one feels mean after that revelation. Nonetheless:]
Eighteen. Do you enjoy cuddling?
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I do, yeah.
It wasn’t uncommon for soldiers to sleep close in the barracks - limited beds and all that.
[There’s a compulsion to continue. This isn’t a game about comrades bonding. This is a game about romance. He tries to answer carefully enough to satisfy the universe.]
I enjoy it romantically also.
[Moving on—]
With a partner. When I was younger.
[Moving on.]
Sixty-nine. Do you prefer casual or serious relationships?
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[A… partner? And yet he’s never been on a date? Also kind of sad. There’s a brief, vaguely concerned confusion on Aubrey’s face—but Armin doesn’t seem eager to talk about it, so she’ll skip to her answer.]
Serious. [It’s an easy one, weirdly.] It… wouldn’t really feel right, to me, to get someone’s hopes up if I didn’t plan on staying.
[All the more to people who can manage expectations. She is not one of those people.]
[Next!]
Uh, fifty-tw— Oh, come on. [Looking apologetic, again;] Want a different one? [Would the world allow that…?]
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[He has to fight to sound pleasant, and it might be a bit more obvious now.]
I don’t mind physical affection with him—
[Seriously?]
With the right person. Or with a friend if necessary.
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[Aubrey notices, this time—the pronoun, sure, but the tension, too.]
Hey, uh. I should warn you… [Always her ripping off the damn bandaid, it seems. No less uncomfortable.] If there’s something you’ve been avoiding… this world will probably make you talk about it, sooner or later.
[A lesson, maybe. She won’t remind him out loud, though.]
Sorry about that.
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I’d be good to remember that, you’re right.
[Why is he avoiding the topic? It’s anger at Eren, not Aubrey. But it’s humiliating too.
[And the next question pulls no punches.]
Twenty-eight is next.
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[It’s impossible to be ready. As soon as Aubrey reads the question her hands clasp, the right pinching and rubbing at that “ring.” She’s still not sure if this is a reassuring gesture or not; it happens all the same.
[She stares down at it.] I… don’t know…?
[A compulsion; Aubrey folds, before it can get worse.]
I think I already am. However much that matters here— I mean, this wasn’t random.
[More, demands the universe.]
He said, “Marry me.”
[Nothing about how she says this implies it was a loving thing.]
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[Eren never even talked about things like that with him.]
How…do you feel about that?
[Focus on Aubrey.]
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[A laugh, of some light and tentative sort, leaves Aubrey before she can hold back.] Hey, h-hey, that’s not one of the questions.... [It’s a nervous thing.]
[She glances at Armin. He’s embarrassed. Back down.]
[There’s a compulsion, again, to be honest. Aubrey’s not sure if it’s from the world or herself.] I don’t… know, really— I haven’t tried to take it off. [Herself, then. She knows the mark isn’t what Armin’s talking about.]
Sixteen is kinda young where I’m from… [Like, really young. Like, only absolute sweethearts—like Hero and Mari– don’t think about them now—would even seriously think about getting married fresh out of high school, at 18, young.]
Last we met, it was really good— but everything I told you before, that’s still true. [That wasn’t a happy admission, either.] I don’t know.
[It scares her. Like she’s not the one who met his intensity with a snarling vow right back. The physical proof is exciting as it is damning.]
[Aubrey needs to steel herself. These uneasy pauses are saying too much as-is.] It doesn’t really matter how I feel about it, does it?
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I’m not seeking to give advice or anything. But…regardless, it does matter.
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[Aubrey is quiet for a while.]
[Then her left hand closes, and she stuffs both in her pockets.] Thanks.
[And so the numbers roll.]
Seventy-five.
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[Armin doesn’t care about that kind of hurt, really. They will lose Eren. That’s what lodges a lump in his throat.
[The rest doesn’t help. It’s all compounding. He wishes they were together. Why aren’t they ever together?]
What’s life without love, Aubrey? [His words crack.]
Just hatred?
I don’t want that.
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[It could be a cold nothing. She keeps her mouth shut, though.]
[Ding!]
“Armin, 59: Does love conquer all?”
Hey, stupid! [Aubrey looks up, apparently irritated.] He just answered! [But she noticed the voice crack. And she glances back to Armin, worried.]
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No, it doesn’t.
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[Armin sounds hollow. Aubrey doesn’t like that.
[She will try not to lose her cool more than the guy being picked on, though. But just as she’s about to offer some… condolence, warning, whatever—]
“Armin, 71: Is your love requited?”
[That is not quite what the question says.]
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It was once.
[More. It’s starting to feel stupid to beat around the bush; humiliating.]
I don’t know anymore.
[More.]
Aubrey, I should tell you something.
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lowkey gore
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hold on tight spidermonkey
armin: -is hold-
fuck it post cunty armin
armin: -is cunty, also-
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dying! at the strikethrough
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not here