[It feels worse than a knife to the side. It’s a memory of being shot through the face. Just another one of the many things Armin endured for Eren.
[Safety and trust; precious nights, taking turns resting their heads on each other’s chests. Soft words, tender hands, Eren’s warmth, and Armin’s bleeding heart. They had dreams together. They had promises. The emotion flows out of him, a watery montage of being in love. The universe doesn’t only demand an answer; it shares these silhouette of a memory with the girl across from him. Mercifully, no screens. Armin should be none the wiser - but he suspects.]
[Aubrey doesn’t want to see or hear this anymore.]
[The universe demands her attention for the montage—but as soon as it’s over she starts pacing, dragging her hands over her scalp.]
[After some half-legible “fuck this, I hate this, of course— he’s so stupid—” grumbling:] I’ll talk to him. Or— Do you even want that?
[She’s not mad at Armin at all; he’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise, the way she stops pacing, sharp, and her frustration fixes him in the crosshairs.]
[Yeah. Yeah. Nothing Aubrey could ever think to say would be better than that.]
[She nods, still fuming.]
[And…]
Do you want a hug? [A pause.] And-or… it’s not very word-y, but…
[Aubrey swings her right hand over her shoulder, fist closed; Armin might not recognize the motion, but in her head, she’s waving a bat.] …you wanna hit something really hard?
[As she says this, Armin takes a moment to focus. He closes his eyes, and five or so wooden titans appear around them - practice targets from his cadet days. Not even Eren knows that he’s the Commander now. ]
Let me show you something.
[He accepts the bat and turns toward two of the targets, both at least fourteen meters tall.
[It happens quickly. Armin releases a grappling hook from his gear and sends it flying into the right titan. As he’s moving through the air, he brings the bat down hard on its nape and smashes it to splinters. He doesn’t descend after that, flinging himself onto the left Titan with his other hook. This time, he unsheathes one of his blades with his free hand and expertly cuts out the nape, thick chunks of wood flying. The grappling hooks then fire to the ground, Armin landing easily.
[He’s not the best in his class at omni-directional mobility, but the exercise is child’s play at this point.]
[Aubrey’s not even gonna bother poking one of the wood-titan’s feet. Anger’s got nothing on the sight of Armin’s high-flying theatrics; somewhere along the line she just drops the bat altogether.]
[Armin puts an armin tight around Aubrey; he is deceptively strong for his size, and the grip is tight and secure. He only gives her one more warning.]
Hold on as tight as you can. I won’t let you fall.
[With that, he shoots them to the top of one of the wooden titans, swings them around to the next one, and then brings them both down to the ground. It’s as fast as it is smooth, as if it takes nearly no effort at all.]
[It’s a little strange locking her arms around anyone who isn’t Eren—really strange, actually—but before Aubrey can feed any neuroses from that, up they go!
[The world’s biggest rollercoaster has fuckall on this. Aubrey faintly hopes Armin doesn’t mind her screaming, first in fear but then out of sheer excitement; by the time they’re on the downswing she’s even tempted to toss up a fistpump.
[For a fleeting, split second, it almost did feel like something out of a fairytale.]
Holy crap. [Aubrey’s laughing as she steps back, none too hastily; it takes a moment to steady herself again.] That’s incredible. You do that like it’s nothing!
[Aubrey’s only heard of the Scout Regiment once, offhand; the Survey Corps have been mentioned a bit more. Neither are familiar terms to her, but she can guess what “these days” leaves unsaid.]
[And then, Eren. Thrilling as getting carried away (literally) was…] Right. [Calming down, now.] I won’t.
Although… I can’t act like this conversation never happened. [It’s a grim admission. The world would force it sooner or later, sure, but even if it somehow didn’t…] I can’t believe he’d do that to you.
[Armin couldn't believe it at first either. His expression drops again; it's a bit refreshing, at least, to not have to force a smile now that the masquerade is over.]
I don't think the universe would let you if you tried.
[It's easier to talk about that then to talk about Eren; however, the principle applies both ways.]
In the grand scheme of things, neglecting to break up with someone probably seemed irrelevant.
[That doesn't make it better.]
None of us were expecting this place. If I want to be angry about something, there's a lot--
[He didn’t get too much catharsis out of all that swinging, did he? All things considered....]
I think anger catches up with you whether you want it or not. [On which note, Aubrey will give Armin some space for a moment to get her bat back. But she keeps talking over her shoulder anyway;] Isn’t it annoying? That feelings don’t change anything but you’re stuck with them anyway?
[It was targeted, although not at Aubrey. Armin regrets it as soon as she gives her caveat. He no longer feels the need to break things; he's just not the type.
[His heart aches painfully. Eren. Could anyone survive the weight of a hatred like that? And it's always been there. Even before the wall fell.
[Reiner had to tell them that Eren was suffering. Of course he's suffering. Just look at what they all placed on his shoulders. And then they were surprised that it went badly? He's sick with guilt.]
I'm not prone to hatred. But, no. I wouldn't be eager for that.
[There's a substantial pause.]
You've brought something out in him, Aubrey. Something that I failed to.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I had no idea.
[Thoughtless.] That makes it worse, doesn’t it?
no subject
[Armin has tears in his eyes.]
It can’t get worse than this. Even if I didn’t feel the way I feel, it wouldn’t matter.
We don’t love in categories. Eren is Eren.
[It’s a mournful statement.]
I loved what we had a lot, but that’s not what’s important to me anymore.
[A message in Aubrey’s ears, in Armin’s voice: "It’s not important to him anymore either.”]
no subject
[Ah.... She wants this stupid ring off.]
But what you feel does matter—
“What if it was still requited, Armin?”
Shut the fuck up! [So much for chill.] God, haven’t you tormented him enough?
lowkey gore
[Safety and trust; precious nights, taking turns resting their heads on each other’s chests. Soft words, tender hands, Eren’s warmth, and Armin’s bleeding heart. They had dreams together. They had promises. The emotion flows out of him, a watery montage of being in love. The universe doesn’t only demand an answer; it shares these silhouette of a memory with the girl across from him. Mercifully, no screens. Armin should be none the wiser - but he suspects.]
I will always love Eren Jaeger. That’s my answer.
no subject
[Aubrey doesn’t want to see or hear this anymore.]
[The universe demands her attention for the montage—but as soon as it’s over she starts pacing, dragging her hands over her scalp.]
[After some half-legible “fuck this, I hate this, of course— he’s so stupid—” grumbling:] I’ll talk to him. Or— Do you even want that?
[She’s not mad at Armin at all; he’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise, the way she stops pacing, sharp, and her frustration fixes him in the crosshairs.]
no subject
That’s not your responsibility, Aubrey.
If Eren wants to talk about this, he needs to do that himself.
You know…
[Wiping the tears from his eyes, he chokes something back and makes himself stand up straighter.]
I’ve always resented cowards who resort to action before using their words.
no subject
[Yeah. Yeah. Nothing Aubrey could ever think to say would be better than that.]
[She nods, still fuming.]
[And…]
Do you want a hug? [A pause.] And-or… it’s not very word-y, but…
[Aubrey swings her right hand over her shoulder, fist closed; Armin might not recognize the motion, but in her head, she’s waving a bat.] …you wanna hit something really hard?
no subject
I believe I’ve already used my words.
[That’s a yes. Though, not to the hug just yet.]
What are we breaking?
no subject
[Huh. He’s actually going for it. Breaking something, even.
[Aubrey likes Armin a little more now.]
[She shrugs. She offers him a nail bat.]
I usually just hit whatever’s in my yard. Trees, shrubs, maybe a trash can… [Challenging:] Bet you’d come up with something better.
no subject
Let me show you something.
[He accepts the bat and turns toward two of the targets, both at least fourteen meters tall.
[It happens quickly. Armin releases a grappling hook from his gear and sends it flying into the right titan. As he’s moving through the air, he brings the bat down hard on its nape and smashes it to splinters. He doesn’t descend after that, flinging himself onto the left Titan with his other hook. This time, he unsheathes one of his blades with his free hand and expertly cuts out the nape, thick chunks of wood flying. The grappling hooks then fire to the ground, Armin landing easily.
[He’s not the best in his class at omni-directional mobility, but the exercise is child’s play at this point.]
no subject
[Those are some bigass targets.]
[Aubrey’s not even gonna bother poking one of the wood-titan’s feet. Anger’s got nothing on the sight of Armin’s high-flying theatrics; somewhere along the line she just drops the bat altogether.]
[As he lands:] That was fucking amazing!
no subject
I could take you with me if you wanted.
no subject
Get out.
[It is not, remotely, a ‘no.’]
hold on tight spidermonkey
I’m stronger than I look. Promise.
armin: -is hold-
Heh. I can see that.
[She’ll resist the urge to run and jump in like some overexcited little fairytale, but Aubrey takes Armin up on it with enthusiasm.]
fuck it post cunty armin
intight around Aubrey; he is deceptively strong for his size, and the grip is tight and secure. He only gives her one more warning.]Hold on as tight as you can. I won’t let you fall.
[With that, he shoots them to the top of one of the wooden titans, swings them around to the next one, and then brings them both down to the ground. It’s as fast as it is smooth, as if it takes nearly no effort at all.]
armin: -is cunty, also-
[It’s a little strange locking her arms around anyone who isn’t Eren—really strange, actually—but before Aubrey can feed any neuroses from that, up they go!
[The world’s biggest rollercoaster has fuckall on this. Aubrey faintly hopes Armin doesn’t mind her screaming, first in fear but then out of sheer excitement; by the time they’re on the downswing she’s even tempted to toss up a fistpump.
[For a fleeting, split second, it almost did feel like something out of a fairytale.]
Holy crap. [Aubrey’s laughing as she steps back, none too hastily; it takes a moment to steady herself again.] That’s incredible. You do that like it’s nothing!
no subject
I’ve been using ODM gear for about seven years now.
Actually, if you’ve heard of the Scout Regiment, I’m the Commander these days.
[It’s more bitter than sweet, but his tone remains casual. It’s still hard to think about Hange— Does Eren know?]
Actually, ah…Don’t mention that bit to Eren just yet. If you don’t mind.
[Still protecting him despite everything. He has no pride left to cling to.]
no subject
[Aubrey’s only heard of the Scout Regiment once, offhand; the Survey Corps have been mentioned a bit more. Neither are familiar terms to her, but she can guess what “these days” leaves unsaid.]
[And then, Eren. Thrilling as getting carried away (literally) was…] Right. [Calming down, now.] I won’t.
Although… I can’t act like this conversation never happened. [It’s a grim admission. The world would force it sooner or later, sure, but even if it somehow didn’t…] I can’t believe he’d do that to you.
no subject
I don't think the universe would let you if you tried.
[It's easier to talk about that then to talk about Eren; however, the principle applies both ways.]
In the grand scheme of things, neglecting to break up with someone probably seemed irrelevant.
[That doesn't make it better.]
None of us were expecting this place. If I want to be angry about something, there's a lot--
Well. There's...just a lot.
no subject
Hah, you’re not kidding.
[He didn’t get too much catharsis out of all that swinging, did he? All things considered....]
I think anger catches up with you whether you want it or not. [On which note, Aubrey will give Armin some space for a moment to get her bat back. But she keeps talking over her shoulder anyway;] Isn’t it annoying? That feelings don’t change anything but you’re stuck with them anyway?
no subject
I'd rather feel everything than feel nothing at all.
no subject
[She catches that.
[Feels weirdly targeted.]
[Aubrey retrieves her bat. Weighs it with her hand a bit, gripping it solid. Been a while.]
Everything, huh?
[She doesn’t return to Armin all the way, pausing at the nearest wood-titan. A swing is readied but not made.]
Even hatred?
no subject
[His heart aches painfully. Eren. Could anyone survive the weight of a hatred like that? And it's always been there. Even before the wall fell.
[Reiner had to tell them that Eren was suffering. Of course he's suffering. Just look at what they all placed on his shoulders. And then they were surprised that it went badly? He's sick with guilt.]
I'm not prone to hatred. But, no. I wouldn't be eager for that.
[There's a substantial pause.]
You've brought something out in him, Aubrey. Something that I failed to.
I should thank you for that.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
dying! at the strikethrough
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
not here
[What the hell?]