It’s strange. I feel like he knows he’s lying to himself, but he just keeps talking circles around it. [Again, probably nothing Armin doesn’t know. Aubrey’s started thinking out loud again.] It’s like he thinks this is… inevitable? Like he was bornto do it. [Her brow furrows.] He’s really always talked like that…?
[This is something that Armin finds very difficult to talk about. Eren would like all of them to believe that he's always been this way too, but is that really true? He certainly wasn't such a shell of a person back when they were both Scouts. Aubrey says she can't sense his passion now, but back then, anyone who met Eren knew instantly what his motivations were.
[Because he wasn't quiet about them. He still isn't. He wants to kill his enemy. He wants retribution. He wants freedom at any cost.
[Armin takes a deep breath.]
In ways, I...guess he has, yeah...
[God, but it's a miserable thing to admit. There's no way - no way his lifelong friend has always been the type of person who would commit genocide - slaughter men, women, and children with reckless abandon.
[Then again, it's not as if this is the first time Eren's ignored innocent collateral for the sake of his larger goal. Armin's done the same...
[He feels sick.]
He thinks it's the only option. I know that much.
He hasn't listened to reason - not yet, but I...
[Staring down at his hands again. They cradle each other.]
[To be fair to Eren, he wasn’t particularly subtle with Aubrey. They just had other things to talk about, first. And even so, to top it all off—“I’m the end of the world.” That’s something Aubrey might not ever be done talking about, actually.]
If anyone can get through to him, it’d have to be you. [Right? She follows Armin’s gaze to his hands and is struck by how much… softer, they are. Maybe not in feeling, but in hold. It’s nothing like Eren’s.]
[Armin’s nothing like Eren in a lot of ways, she’s finding.]
[Aubrey lets silence fall for a while. The diner’s dim buzz is nothing like the cold weight of the last room, but there’s something rotten about the air here, too. Stagnant and festering and restless.]
Hey. [It feels almost profane, breaking that.] I’m sorry to keep talking about this. But… [Finally, she returns to his face.] Do you think he’s your responsibility?
[Armin returns her gaze in kind. It's clear from his expression that he has to consider the question, but he's not exactly surprised by it.
[Is Eren his responsibility? Their responsibility? That's never been the reason they've gone after him. Sure, at some point, they had been responsible for keeping him safe. His powers were invaluable; of course they had to keep him safe. But even if that hadn't been the case, Armin would have done anything in his power to protect Eren - he still would. Not because Eren is his responsibility, but because...]
Eren is my friend. There's a certain level of responsibility that comes with that, don't you think?
It's not as if I feel I have to be his keeper, or anything like that. But I want to help him. I want to do whatever I can for him, because...well, I...
[He bites down on his lip a little, chewing anxiously, momentarily averting eye contact.]
I love him.
[Another brief moment of silence passes. Armin frowns, letting his mouth quirk to one side.]
But...although Eren might not be my responsibility, saving the world from total annihilation...? I'd expect anyone to step up in that case.
[The first time he pauses, Aubrey has to bite her lip, too—on inside, a poor substitute for the tongue. Did he ask for that? But no shit, he probably didn’t. Friends don’t have to ask for that. Because they’re friends, and they—]
[“I love him.”]
[She tastes blood.]
[Aubrey stares straight down. Her fists clench, loosen, tighten again, the nails of one hand digging into the other. Faintly the rest of Armin’s words register; she manages a small nod.]
Right. R-right, right, yeah, I. [She stands, abruptly. Her palms dig into the table, shaking.] Sorry, I—
[Quick glance up. Nearest door—further in, could be the washroom could be the kitchen maybe a closet it doesn’t really matter. God, not again—] Be right back.
[Armin's hand flies up on instinct after Aubrey, but...he doesn't grab for her, nor go after her. Whatever it is that set her off - Eren, "total annihilation", something personal - Armin doesn't feel it's his place to pry. After all, he barely knows this girl. If she needs to take a moment, then she should. God knows he'd like the opportunity to more often.
[At some point, the puppet waitress comes by to fill coffee mugs; Armin is polite to her despite knowing that she probably isn't quite...real? He takes a small sip of the coffee.]
[It takes a few minutes. Aubrey forces herself to focus. She’s here—Eren is here, somewhere, maybe. Armin is here. Basil is not here, and all this drama does him no good anyway. She’s been told this. It just needs to get through her thick goddamn skull.]
[Leaving isn’t an option, and Aubrey meant it when she said she’d go back. Even if she’s visibly exhausted, and still red in the face. When she slumps back down in her booth she grabs the mug and takes a very, very long sip, not caring how hot it is.]
Hey. Sorry. [She slams the mug back down. Better if Armin focuses on the spill.] This place gives me the creeps. There’s no one working back there. [That she saw, anyway.]
[Armin notices the red face, the coffee-chugging, the mug-slamming - yeah, she's not doing too hot, is she? Still, he won't pry. Instead, he'll take a glance around the room. The bleak, surreal atmosphere, paired with her statement, makes his shoulders chill a bit.]
It is a bit unsettling, you're right.
[...
[Maybe he'll pry a little.]
Are...you alright? Well, I mean - do you want to talk...? About it?
[Shit, how does she answer that. It’s not like she’s subtle, never been a strong suit—but at this point Aubrey’s gotten kinda used to Eren’s distant staring, and she can deal with that (more or less). She extremely does not think she can deal with someone actually reaching out.]
[This guy’s seen war. What’s some scribbled-over photographs?]
[She watches the coffee swirl around in useless little circles.] You know, Armin, you’re really nice. [Yeah, just. Dodge the question entirely. Idle talk; her eyes don’t leave the mug.] Eren makes everything sound completely hopeless. But I think as long as humanity’s got people like you… [Quick sip. Much more casual.] …even your world can be alright, sometimes.
[At first, Aubrey simply nods. “Nice sentiment,” fair enough; she didn’t believe it when he said as much about her earlier, it’s fine.
[But the rest.]
[Aubrey watches Armin, more alert again, as he goes on. At least he’s not dismissing kindness wholesale. She doesn’t like that he’s confirming at least some of what Eren said, though, and it has her… angry? Irritated. Jesus, just take the damn compliment. Let something be easy, just once.]
Necessity of war. [It’s a much firmer statement this time.] I mean— I’m sure you have. Eren told me [why is she echoing him, suddenly?]—“To rise above monsters, we have to abandon your humanity.” You said that. I know that.
I’m just— I’m saying that can’t be it. [She’s sitting straight up now.] It can’t be cruel all the time. That’s not naive or foolish. [Who is this argument with, really?]
[What is with these guys and just… deflecting. Taking what she throws out and brushing it off. Unlike with Eren, Aubrey wasn’t trying to hurt Armin, but it’s still its own brand of… what, jarring? Armin doesn’t unsettle her at all.
[She stands by what she said in the first place, if anything.]
[As Armin talks about the world not being fully cruel; friends, families, laughter and stories and dreams… Aubrey visibly deflates. Exhaustion takes over again, dragging down her shoulders, and on his final note she picks up the mug again for another long, long drink. It’s a good excuse to swallow. Hides her face, while it lasts. She wonders if Armin has any pictures with his loved ones but the question catches in her throat.]
[Her mug’s empty and it doesn’t feel like it did a thing. Aubrey can’t bring herself to meet Armin’s smile, however slight, for more than a glimpse.] It’s, ah. No problem. [Would be nice to sink under the table, right about now.] Don’t mention it.
[Only slightly lifting her head, she watches his tapping. She swallows, again.] I never thought your world was hopeless. [It’s not a lie, she doesn’t think. Aubrey mumbles like it is one.]
I… I won’t believe him. I c—[Her voice catches and she silences it, immediately.]
[It could be a lie that she's never thought of their world as hopeless. If it is a lie, does that mean that Eren's been planting seeds in her head? Just like with the Jaegerists? Was he to blame for them at all? When did he become so manipulative? So insidious? So...
[No. Armin can't even think it. Eren Jaeger is not evil. He can't be...]
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked.
And you shouldn't believe him.
[At this, Armin tries to meet her eyes, to level a stare at her - firm, reassuring.]
[No, it’s fine, she wants to say. Which it’s not, but Aubrey looks up just in time to meet his stare and—
[“Our world is worth saving.” Without a doubt in his voice.]
[It’s not what Armin’s talking about at all—Aubrey’s barely touching the loss of one person, never mind countless in an act that everyone, even its perpetrator, can agree is horrific—but through that ever-warped lens…
[What Armin’s saying almost sounds like “Life gets better.” There’s still hope. There’s still tomorrow.
[There has to be.
It’s worth the fight.]
[Aubrey can’t meet Armin’s resolve, but she could hug him if not for the table. Instead she sits back up, and looks at him with something of a desperate admiration.]
It is. [There’s no doubt to that, now.] Thank you.
[Aubrey's sudden vigor is a little surprising, but Armin can't help but feel a little encouraged himself, seeing what good his words seem to have done. He might not be able to undo the damage that Eren's done back home, but...perhaps he can, in some small way, do so here - for Aubrey, at least.
[He's glad that she's eager not to believe Eren...]
There's no need to thank me. I've only told you the truth.
[After a moment, he smiles, inclines his head.]
I should be thanking you - all that insight. It's a comfort, somehow - even given the circumstances.
[The truth. Yeah. …It’s disquieting to realize Aubrey’s still not sure she can believe it, but for now she shoves that down, down. Armin believes it, and she believes Armin. That’s enough.]
“Insight,” huh… [She tries to muster a small smile back, though it’s an awkward gesture. The last few have been significantly… messier, to say the least, and hardly genuine. This one is, at best, polite.]
I guess if there’s anything else you want to know, I can tell you… I figured you’d know most of it already. [And dropped the name on you like a bat to the face.] But it’s not like I’m going anywhere.
[For once in her godforesaken life, Aubrey will try to be tactful. Her expression is already giving her away, though; she imagines this is how it might have felt, something close, to have to say, time and time again—I’m sorry. She’s gone. It doesn’t matter what Aubrey thinks about Eren, now; Armin was, maybe still is, his friend.
[Does Armin have an inkling already? Will this gut him on the spot? There’s no delaying the inevitable.] He said… “There’s no coming back”… for him.... [Hasty addition, as if it it might soften the blow:] I’m not trying to be evasive, he hasn’t said anything outright…
[Armin's jaw clenches as he listens. He feels his nostrils flare, his sinuses burn - there's no doubt his eyes are beginning to glisten. But he nods like a soldier.]
I understand.
Thank you.
[And that selfish bastard has tasked the people he loves with being the ones to take him out. He doesn't mean to say it out loud, but he does.]
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[Aubrey nods, slowly. That tracks, unfortunately as ever.] You know, I’d almost say he doesn’t seem passionate about anything, but…
[“He doesn’t want his home to be destroyed. It’s funny, isn’t it?” Among other breaks.]
It’s strange. I feel like he knows he’s lying to himself, but he just keeps talking circles around it. [Again, probably nothing Armin doesn’t know. Aubrey’s started thinking out loud again.] It’s like he thinks this is… inevitable? Like he was born to do it. [Her brow furrows.] He’s really always talked like that…?
I love it
[Because he wasn't quiet about them. He still isn't. He wants to kill his enemy. He wants retribution. He wants freedom at any cost.
[Armin takes a deep breath.]
In ways, I...guess he has, yeah...
[God, but it's a miserable thing to admit. There's no way - no way his lifelong friend has always been the type of person who would commit genocide - slaughter men, women, and children with reckless abandon.
[Then again, it's not as if this is the first time Eren's ignored innocent collateral for the sake of his larger goal. Armin's done the same...
[He feels sick.]
He thinks it's the only option. I know that much.
He hasn't listened to reason - not yet, but I...
[Staring down at his hands again. They cradle each other.]
I'm going to convince him. I have to.
I can't let him do this...
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[To be fair to Eren, he wasn’t particularly subtle with Aubrey. They just had other things to talk about, first. And even so, to top it all off—“I’m the end of the world.” That’s something Aubrey might not ever be done talking about, actually.]
If anyone can get through to him, it’d have to be you. [Right? She follows Armin’s gaze to his hands and is struck by how much… softer, they are. Maybe not in feeling, but in hold. It’s nothing like Eren’s.]
[Armin’s nothing like Eren in a lot of ways, she’s finding.]
[Aubrey lets silence fall for a while. The diner’s dim buzz is nothing like the cold weight of the last room, but there’s something rotten about the air here, too. Stagnant and festering and restless.]
Hey. [It feels almost profane, breaking that.] I’m sorry to keep talking about this. But… [Finally, she returns to his face.] Do you think he’s your responsibility?
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[Is Eren his responsibility? Their responsibility? That's never been the reason they've gone after him. Sure, at some point, they had been responsible for keeping him safe. His powers were invaluable; of course they had to keep him safe. But even if that hadn't been the case, Armin would have done anything in his power to protect Eren - he still would. Not because Eren is his responsibility, but because...]
Eren is my friend. There's a certain level of responsibility that comes with that, don't you think?
It's not as if I feel I have to be his keeper, or anything like that. But I want to help him. I want to do whatever I can for him, because...well, I...
[He bites down on his lip a little, chewing anxiously, momentarily averting eye contact.]
I love him.
[Another brief moment of silence passes. Armin frowns, letting his mouth quirk to one side.]
But...although Eren might not be my responsibility, saving the world from total annihilation...? I'd expect anyone to step up in that case.
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[It sounds so… obvious, when Armin says it.]
[The first time he pauses, Aubrey has to bite her lip, too—on inside, a poor substitute for the tongue. Did he ask for that? But no shit, he probably didn’t. Friends don’t have to ask for that. Because they’re friends, and they—]
[“I love him.”]
[She tastes blood.]
[Aubrey stares straight down. Her fists clench, loosen, tighten again, the nails of one hand digging into the other. Faintly the rest of Armin’s words register; she manages a small nod.]
Right. R-right, right, yeah, I. [She stands, abruptly. Her palms dig into the table, shaking.] Sorry, I—
[Quick glance up. Nearest door—further in, could be the washroom could be the kitchen maybe a closet it doesn’t really matter. God, not again—] Be right back.
[She bolts.]
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[Armin's hand flies up on instinct after Aubrey, but...he doesn't grab for her, nor go after her. Whatever it is that set her off - Eren, "total annihilation", something personal - Armin doesn't feel it's his place to pry. After all, he barely knows this girl. If she needs to take a moment, then she should. God knows he'd like the opportunity to more often.
[At some point, the puppet waitress comes by to fill coffee mugs; Armin is polite to her despite knowing that she probably isn't quite...real? He takes a small sip of the coffee.]
Such a strange place...
[There's a pause. He closes his eyes.]
Where are you, Eren...?
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[Bless Armin’s patience.]
[It takes a few minutes. Aubrey forces herself to focus. She’s here—Eren is here, somewhere, maybe. Armin is here. Basil is not here, and all this drama does him no good anyway. She’s been told this. It just needs to get through her thick goddamn skull.]
[Leaving isn’t an option, and Aubrey meant it when she said she’d go back. Even if she’s visibly exhausted, and still red in the face. When she slumps back down in her booth she grabs the mug and takes a very, very long sip, not caring how hot it is.]
Hey. Sorry. [She slams the mug back down. Better if Armin focuses on the spill.] This place gives me the creeps. There’s no one working back there. [That she saw, anyway.]
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It is a bit unsettling, you're right.
[...
[Maybe he'll pry a little.]
Are...you alright? Well, I mean - do you want to talk...? About it?
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[Shit, how does she answer that. It’s not like she’s subtle, never been a strong suit—but at this point Aubrey’s gotten kinda used to Eren’s distant staring, and she can deal with that (more or less). She extremely does not think she can deal with someone actually reaching out.]
[This guy’s seen war. What’s some scribbled-over photographs?]
[She watches the coffee swirl around in useless little circles.] You know, Armin, you’re really nice. [Yeah, just. Dodge the question entirely. Idle talk; her eyes don’t leave the mug.] Eren makes everything sound completely hopeless. But I think as long as humanity’s got people like you… [Quick sip. Much more casual.] …even your world can be alright, sometimes.
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That's a nice sentiment. I should be thanking you.
[However...
[He glances up at her.]
I'm not someone you should be praising, though - not by a long shot. General kindness - it isn't useless, but...you shouldn't let it fool you either.
I've done unspeakable things. [The grip on his cup tightens slightly.]
A lot of innocent people have died because of me. Whether or not I'm nice really isn't the issue.
[Hopeless? Armin isn't so sure he disagrees anymore.]
Our world is a cruel place. Eren isn't wrong about that.
We've both made it crueler.
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[At first, Aubrey simply nods. “Nice sentiment,” fair enough; she didn’t believe it when he said as much about her earlier, it’s fine.
[But the rest.]
[Aubrey watches Armin, more alert again, as he goes on. At least he’s not dismissing kindness wholesale. She doesn’t like that he’s confirming at least some of what Eren said, though, and it has her… angry? Irritated. Jesus, just take the damn compliment. Let something be easy, just once.]
Necessity of war. [It’s a much firmer statement this time.] I mean— I’m sure you have. Eren told me [why is she echoing him, suddenly?]—“To rise above monsters, we have to abandon your humanity.” You said that. I know that.
I’m just— I’m saying that can’t be it. [She’s sitting straight up now.] It can’t be cruel all the time. That’s not naive or foolish. [Who is this argument with, really?]
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[Eren's really managed to get under her skin...Not that that's particularly surprising.]
I did say that. I believe it too. Necessity of war, like you said - that's just it, really.
But...you're right.
[She's right. He takes a short breath - relief.]
It's a cruel world, but...not in every aspect.
We have friends and families; we share drinks and laughter, stories, dreams...
I really can't imagine having to go through life without at least that.
[Like Eren does...
[Armin manages a small - very small - smile.]
Thank you for the compliment, Aubrey.
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[What is with these guys and just… deflecting. Taking what she throws out and brushing it off. Unlike with Eren, Aubrey wasn’t trying to hurt Armin, but it’s still its own brand of… what, jarring? Armin doesn’t unsettle her at all.
[She stands by what she said in the first place, if anything.]
[As Armin talks about the world not being fully cruel; friends, families, laughter and stories and dreams… Aubrey visibly deflates. Exhaustion takes over again, dragging down her shoulders, and on his final note she picks up the mug again for another long, long drink. It’s a good excuse to swallow. Hides her face, while it lasts. She wonders if Armin has any pictures with his loved ones but the question catches in her throat.]
[Her mug’s empty and it doesn’t feel like it did a thing. Aubrey can’t bring herself to meet Armin’s smile, however slight, for more than a glimpse.] It’s, ah. No problem. [Would be nice to sink under the table, right about now.] Don’t mention it.
Hope you find him.
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[Then, without any further explanation, he quietly asks:]
Does that make it worse?
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[Aubrey dips her head. Bites her lip again.]
Make… what worse…?
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Does it make what Eren's told you worse?
[Armin isn't looking at Aubrey. His eyes are on his knuckles, lightly tapping against the table again.]
Operating under the opposite assumption would make it easier to stomach, right? Is that it?
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[Right. Right. Eren. Eren. God, just, focus on Eren. —Armin. Armin, talking about, ugh—]
[Only slightly lifting her head, she watches his tapping. She swallows, again.] I never thought your world was hopeless. [It’s not a lie, she doesn’t think. Aubrey mumbles like it is one.]
I… I won’t believe him. I c—[Her voice catches and she silences it, immediately.]
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[No. Armin can't even think it. Eren Jaeger is not evil. He can't be...]
I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked.
And you shouldn't believe him.
[At this, Armin tries to meet her eyes, to level a stare at her - firm, reassuring.]
Our world is worth saving.
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[No, it’s fine, she wants to say. Which it’s not, but Aubrey looks up just in time to meet his stare and—
[“Our world is worth saving.” Without a doubt in his voice.]
[It’s not what Armin’s talking about at all—Aubrey’s barely touching the loss of one person, never mind countless in an act that everyone, even its perpetrator, can agree is horrific—but through that ever-warped lens…
[What Armin’s saying almost sounds like “Life gets better.” There’s still hope. There’s still tomorrow.
[There has to be.
It’s worth the fight.]
[Aubrey can’t meet Armin’s resolve, but she could hug him if not for the table. Instead she sits back up, and looks at him with something of a desperate admiration.]
It is. [There’s no doubt to that, now.] Thank you.
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[He's glad that she's eager not to believe Eren...]
There's no need to thank me. I've only told you the truth.
[After a moment, he smiles, inclines his head.]
I should be thanking you - all that insight. It's a comfort, somehow - even given the circumstances.
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[The truth. Yeah. …It’s disquieting to realize Aubrey’s still not sure she can believe it, but for now she shoves that down, down. Armin believes it, and she believes Armin. That’s enough.]
“Insight,” huh… [She tries to muster a small smile back, though it’s an awkward gesture. The last few have been significantly… messier, to say the least, and hardly genuine. This one is, at best, polite.]
I guess if there’s anything else you want to know, I can tell you… I figured you’d know most of it already. [And dropped the name on you like a bat to the face.] But it’s not like I’m going anywhere.
sorry for this Aubrey
[...
[Although, there is one thing...]
Has Eren said anything about...wanting to die?
NO APOLOGIES ONLY JUICE
[. . . Ah.]
[Her face falls immediately. Which is probably enough of an answer, in its own right, but…]
[“They’ll find their happiness once I’m gone.”]
Armin, he…
[For once in her godforesaken life, Aubrey will try to be tactful. Her expression is already giving her away, though; she imagines this is how it might have felt, something close, to have to say, time and time again—I’m sorry. She’s gone. It doesn’t matter what Aubrey thinks about Eren, now; Armin was, maybe still is, his friend.
[Does Armin have an inkling already? Will this gut him on the spot? There’s no delaying the inevitable.] He said… “There’s no coming back”… for him.... [Hasty addition, as if it it might soften the blow:] I’m not trying to be evasive, he hasn’t said anything outright…
But he doesn’t plan on surviving this.
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I understand.
Thank you.
[And that selfish bastard has tasked the people he loves with being the ones to take him out. He doesn't mean to say it out loud, but he does.]
Goddammit, Eren...
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[There’s no good way to take news like that.]
[There’s nothing good to say, either.]
[Aubrey is silent, letting Armin’s grief take center stage. She won’t push it. They barely know each other, anyway.
[But she reaches a hand tentatively forward. Not to take his or anything, just, lightly touching it. A silent you’re not alone.]
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I have no smiling icons rip