[The truth. Yeah. …It’s disquieting to realize Aubrey’s still not sure she can believe it, but for now she shoves that down, down. Armin believes it, and she believes Armin. That’s enough.]
“Insight,” huh… [She tries to muster a small smile back, though it’s an awkward gesture. The last few have been significantly… messier, to say the least, and hardly genuine. This one is, at best, polite.]
I guess if there’s anything else you want to know, I can tell you… I figured you’d know most of it already. [And dropped the name on you like a bat to the face.] But it’s not like I’m going anywhere.
[For once in her godforesaken life, Aubrey will try to be tactful. Her expression is already giving her away, though; she imagines this is how it might have felt, something close, to have to say, time and time again—I’m sorry. She’s gone. It doesn’t matter what Aubrey thinks about Eren, now; Armin was, maybe still is, his friend.
[Does Armin have an inkling already? Will this gut him on the spot? There’s no delaying the inevitable.] He said… “There’s no coming back”… for him.... [Hasty addition, as if it it might soften the blow:] I’m not trying to be evasive, he hasn’t said anything outright…
[Armin's jaw clenches as he listens. He feels his nostrils flare, his sinuses burn - there's no doubt his eyes are beginning to glisten. But he nods like a soldier.]
I understand.
Thank you.
[And that selfish bastard has tasked the people he loves with being the ones to take him out. He doesn't mean to say it out loud, but he does.]
[He wants to say that it won't end that way. He wants to say that they can save Eren - that they will save Eren, but...Hell...
[Would anyone want to come back from what Eren's done? Armin can't imagine that he would. So, it's a suicide mission; that shouldn't be surprising. What did Armin expect? That Eren would calmly stomp the world flat and then come back home like nothing had happened?
[His finger bumps idly against Aubrey's, the touch sending a little shockwave through him.
[He wants to be with him. He wants to take Eren's face in his hands. He wants to help him so badly...
[He feels tears on his cheeks, bringing his free hand up to brush away the warm, wet drops. When's the last time he cried like this...? When he speaks, he tries to keep his voice steady, but...it's coated with emotion all the same.]
We're going to figure something out.
We're going to bring him home.
[Or, they're going to kill him; an alternative too terrible to think about, and one Armin has been forced to face over and over again anyway. He can't speak it into truth. Not here. Not now.]
[Spoken with the devastated grit of someone who just can’t consider an alternative—or at least not say it.
[Aubrey can get that.]
[It’s a sad sight, when he was so bold just moments before—but not at all pathetic. The opposite, really; that even now, Armin can speak true to the hopeful alternative.... For all they know, he’s alone out here; there is no “we,” might not be a home to go back to.
[And yet.]
[She stays quiet, unmoving save for tired, slow breaths. An idea comes to her in the silence—but for now, Armin can take however long as he needs.]
[The moment crowds in on him. He pulls both hands from off the table and into his lap, averts his gaze from Aubrey. He just needs a minute, a couple of tears. Even with everything that's happened back home, Armin hasn't felt longing like this in what feels like ages. Maybe because, somehow, Eren seems closer here than he did back in their world.
[No Rumbling. They could really just talk, if only he were here...
[After a few moments, Armin takes a deep breath, then straightens in his seat again.]
[He does not sound alright, to her; but she’ll let him have that, too. Aubrey’s pulled back herself by now, having mirrored Armin’s withdrawal, and she replies with a small nod.]
You don’t have to apologize. [He didn’t even step away—not that Aubrey would’ve blamed him if he did.]
[She sighs. And after another moment, hesitant:] You know… if there’s anything you want to say to him…
You don’t have to think of anything right now. [And it goes without saying this isn’t a promise Aubrey is sure she can keep. But it feels like the least she can do.] But if I meet him again… I’ll pass it on.
[Hushed surprise washes over Armin's face. How had he not even considered this? This is a big deal, should...should he write him a letter, or...?
[No. There's no telling whether or not she'll actually have the letter with her next time she sees him. Anything can happen in this place. Armin's best bet is to give her something short and simple - something she can remember well enough to pass along to Eren faithfully.
[He doesn't have to give it much more thought than that.]
Please, if you would...
Tell Eren that I love him, and that we'll talk soon. Tell him it's a promise.
[God. He could not have chosen a more heartfelt message if he tried. Of course Armin wouldn’t want to give her anything personal, but…]
That’s… that means a lot. [She’d like to say it’ll mean a lot to Eren, specifically, but it’s… hard to tell. For now, one of her hands has trailed over her chest, and she closes it, palm inward, around the invisible note.] I’ll bring that to him best I can.
[The logistics of getting those words out, face-to-face with Eren Jaeger again, are for future-Aubrey to worry about. It’s for Armin’s sake, anyway. She can manage that much.] …Promise.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[The truth. Yeah. …It’s disquieting to realize Aubrey’s still not sure she can believe it, but for now she shoves that down, down. Armin believes it, and she believes Armin. That’s enough.]
“Insight,” huh… [She tries to muster a small smile back, though it’s an awkward gesture. The last few have been significantly… messier, to say the least, and hardly genuine. This one is, at best, polite.]
I guess if there’s anything else you want to know, I can tell you… I figured you’d know most of it already. [And dropped the name on you like a bat to the face.] But it’s not like I’m going anywhere.
sorry for this Aubrey
[...
[Although, there is one thing...]
Has Eren said anything about...wanting to die?
NO APOLOGIES ONLY JUICE
[. . . Ah.]
[Her face falls immediately. Which is probably enough of an answer, in its own right, but…]
[“They’ll find their happiness once I’m gone.”]
Armin, he…
[For once in her godforesaken life, Aubrey will try to be tactful. Her expression is already giving her away, though; she imagines this is how it might have felt, something close, to have to say, time and time again—I’m sorry. She’s gone. It doesn’t matter what Aubrey thinks about Eren, now; Armin was, maybe still is, his friend.
[Does Armin have an inkling already? Will this gut him on the spot? There’s no delaying the inevitable.] He said… “There’s no coming back”… for him.... [Hasty addition, as if it it might soften the blow:] I’m not trying to be evasive, he hasn’t said anything outright…
But he doesn’t plan on surviving this.
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I understand.
Thank you.
[And that selfish bastard has tasked the people he loves with being the ones to take him out. He doesn't mean to say it out loud, but he does.]
Goddammit, Eren...
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[There’s no good way to take news like that.]
[There’s nothing good to say, either.]
[Aubrey is silent, letting Armin’s grief take center stage. She won’t push it. They barely know each other, anyway.
[But she reaches a hand tentatively forward. Not to take his or anything, just, lightly touching it. A silent you’re not alone.]
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[Would anyone want to come back from what Eren's done? Armin can't imagine that he would. So, it's a suicide mission; that shouldn't be surprising. What did Armin expect? That Eren would calmly stomp the world flat and then come back home like nothing had happened?
[His finger bumps idly against Aubrey's, the touch sending a little shockwave through him.
[He wants to be with him. He wants to take Eren's face in his hands. He wants to help him so badly...
[He feels tears on his cheeks, bringing his free hand up to brush away the warm, wet drops. When's the last time he cried like this...? When he speaks, he tries to keep his voice steady, but...it's coated with emotion all the same.]
We're going to figure something out.
We're going to bring him home.
[Or, they're going to kill him; an alternative too terrible to think about, and one Armin has been forced to face over and over again anyway. He can't speak it into truth. Not here. Not now.]
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[Spoken with the devastated grit of someone who just can’t consider an alternative—or at least not say it.
[Aubrey can get that.]
[It’s a sad sight, when he was so bold just moments before—but not at all pathetic. The opposite, really; that even now, Armin can speak true to the hopeful alternative.... For all they know, he’s alone out here; there is no “we,” might not be a home to go back to.
[And yet.]
[She stays quiet, unmoving save for tired, slow breaths. An idea comes to her in the silence—but for now, Armin can take however long as he needs.]
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[No Rumbling. They could really just talk, if only he were here...
[After a few moments, Armin takes a deep breath, then straightens in his seat again.]
I'm sorry about that. I'm alright.
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[He does not sound alright, to her; but she’ll let him have that, too. Aubrey’s pulled back herself by now, having mirrored Armin’s withdrawal, and she replies with a small nod.]
You don’t have to apologize. [He didn’t even step away—not that Aubrey would’ve blamed him if he did.]
[She sighs. And after another moment, hesitant:] You know… if there’s anything you want to say to him…
You don’t have to think of anything right now. [And it goes without saying this isn’t a promise Aubrey is sure she can keep. But it feels like the least she can do.] But if I meet him again… I’ll pass it on.
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[No. There's no telling whether or not she'll actually have the letter with her next time she sees him. Anything can happen in this place. Armin's best bet is to give her something short and simple - something she can remember well enough to pass along to Eren faithfully.
[He doesn't have to give it much more thought than that.]
Please, if you would...
Tell Eren that I love him, and that we'll talk soon. Tell him it's a promise.
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[God. He could not have chosen a more heartfelt message if he tried. Of course Armin wouldn’t want to give her anything personal, but…]
That’s… that means a lot. [She’d like to say it’ll mean a lot to Eren, specifically, but it’s… hard to tell. For now, one of her hands has trailed over her chest, and she closes it, palm inward, around the invisible note.] I’ll bring that to him best I can.
[The logistics of getting those words out, face-to-face with Eren Jaeger again, are for future-Aubrey to worry about. It’s for Armin’s sake, anyway. She can manage that much.] …Promise.
I have no smiling icons rip
Thank you, Aubrey. Sincerely.