rollcharisma | IC Inbox for seasonsrpg

Armin -

Galliard mentioned you're going to be taking a picture of him when you do your photos. If it's not too much of a pain, do you think I could get a copy of his?

- Marco

[ Usually he'd provide a reason for such a request - Marco likes to explain his reason for doing things, after all. This time it's suspiciously light on explanation. ]

[It is a bit of a strange request, but beyond that...]

Hi, Marco.

I will be taking Galliard's photo, yes; however, he did request that I take it privately, so I'm not all that comfortable giving away copies without his permission. You should probably ask him if you'd like one.

- Armin

[Of course, Armin is feeling a bit Strange about Galliard anyway; not through any fault of his own, but the memory they shared was...highly disturbing for Armin. He's not really sure how to face him - or Reiner, or Annie, or anyone from the Marley side.

[With Bertholdt, and now Eren - the end of the world, with Armin's consent - he feels more like a monster than he ever has. Marco wouldn't be wrong to think he'd been withdrawn lately.]

Armin -

I guess that makes sense. It's not the answer I was hoping for, but I can't be upset.

Beyond that, though, I wanted to check in with you and see how you've been? I don't know if you got caught up in that strange experience that happened earlier in the month with the memories...

[ Marco and Armin hadn't shared any memories - but Marco and others had, like Galliard, so he knew it was possible he had. ]

[Ah...]

I did, yes. Something having to do with Eren and The Paths, if that's familiar to you at all.

I'm guessing you got caught up in the same since you're asking. I hope you didn't see anything too troubling.

[He will avoid talking about himself and his emotions until the day he dies. He also knows that Marco won't allow that for long.]

I experienced some difficult memories. There are some I'd really rather not talk about.

Overall, though - and I mean this - I feel...somewhat grateful for the experience. It's a little hard to explain, I guess, but...

I think it was for the best.

It's the first time that happened to me and I saw.... a lot of things about the future. About the attack on Liberio and what... Eren does in the future.

[ It was more bad than good, for him, but he was also glad to have seen it. He needed to see the truth about the future, after all. ]

I'm glad that I know, now. I understand why you said I'd be disappointed.

Edited (no idea why i had "it isn't" in there) 2024-01-03 02:20 (UTC)

[The attack on Liberio. Does Marco know that it was Armin who blew up the sea port? He doesn't exactly want to ask, but...]

I was complicit in that attack also. But it is disappointing. That word doesn't even begin to cover it, honestly...

It's a difficult truth to accept, but an important one. You deserve to know as much as any of us do.

More reason to be grateful for where we are, I suppose.

I am grateful. I know some people miss their homes, and I miss things about it but... I wouldn't choose to go back.

[ Marco doesn't know, yet. He knows someone from Paradis has the Colossus Titan, but he doesn't know who. How long Armin can keep it a secret remains to be seen, though. ]

What did you do? During the attack? I couldn't see anyone I recognized aside from Mikasa and Sasha...

[Armin is a good liar, and he's not opposed to lying when he has to. He doesn't have to with Marco, though. After seeing Porco's memory, and talking with Reiner, he has no reason not to be honest. Even if it's painful - so terribly, terribly painful.]

I possess the colossus titan.

I don't talk about it much. I really don't like to. I'm sorry if it feels as though I've kept it from you.

If you saw the attack on Liberio's seaport, then you'll know what I'm talking about.

I'm not proud of it, Marco. But it's like I said. I was complicit in those attacks. I wouldn't deny it.

Oh.

[ That's all Armin gets for a few minutes. Marco already knew Bertholdt had to have died - if the Colossus was in Paradis' hands, as Porco indicated, that's the only way it would pass on. And yet, there's still something painful in having it confirmed, in knowing that Armin was the one who took it.

And the one who blew up the seaport.

Once he processes that enough to respond, though, he does. ]

I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I suppose I understand what you mean now, when we talked about this before.

I'm ... well, I think I'm just sad, is the only way to put it, at this point.

["I'm sorry you had to go through that." Armin feels sick. No one should be feeling sympathy for him in regard to what his power can do. As always, Marco is far too kind. If he'd survived all those years ago, his heart wouldn't have.]

Of course. I don't blame you.

I'm sorry, Marco.

[He is so, so fucking sorry.]

[ The more Marco learns, the more it becomes clear he would have lost either his heart or his life anyways, eventually. How could he have killed Bertholdt, or been okay with it? In the same breath, how could he have accepted losing Armin?

Would he have become numb to the death eventually? Or would it have shattered him, instead? He sighs to himself. ]

If you're thinking I'm mad, I'm not - well, not in the way one might expect. I'm just realizing you were right: our world is more cruel than I thought I understood to begin with.

You don't need to apologize to me though, Armin. I am here, if you ever need to talk about it.

Edited 2024-01-21 03:05 (UTC)

[...]

It's difficult for me to accept that, Marco.

It's very difficult.

I said you don't need to apologize to me.

[ There is, of course, plenty for Armin to apologize or want to for - and Marco isn't so kind hearted as to not remind him of that. ]

But I am willing to listen, even if I can't absolve you.

[Oof. Whatever Armin might have talked about, that shuts it right down.]

I don’t expect to be absolved, and I wouldn’t want that.

It’s alright. We don’t need to talk about it. I’d rather not.

Okay. If you ever change your mind, I am here.

[ He won't press it, though. He knows that's not exactly something he can force, and he knows that Armin has very different life experiences to Marco now.

Marco is still just a young man - a teenager, really. What Armin, Eren and the others have gone through is something he never will. ]

Thanks, Marco.

[That's about all he has left to say. Maybe he owes it to Marco to not be so withholding, but...he just doesn't have that in him right now. Maybe he never will.]

IC Inbox for seasonsrpg

text; post brainblast/christmas, this will actually be about brainblast but lets start cute

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