[Considering Armin's been literally shot in the face before, the pinky feeling as though it's been torn off certainly isn't the worst thing he's ever felt (Eren leaving was worse, for example). Still, it definitely hurts, and it's certainly shocking. Once they're both back in the living room, and Aubrey is back to normal, Armin can't wipe the shock off of his face.
[He flexes his pinky a couple of times, one hand gripping the other.]
[Swingset. Consuming blackness. A promise.... Aubrey’s expression tenses with recognition. The finger part, less so, but she has a guess....]
You know… I used to talk with my friend Sunny on a swingset. [How’s he doing, she wonders… it’s anyone’s guess, even with those last three days. For all Aubrey liked to think otherwise, he might’ve been closer to Basil in the end than anyone.]
He’s a good listener… [He is. She can’t bring herself to use past tense.] I talked to him about things I never told anyone else.
[Before the world can force it:] That question, about whether I’m clingy— yeah. I think I always have been.
[Her eyes wander down to her hands. A pinky promise… she’d always been afraid to ask.] I’ve always needed people more than they needed me.
[Aubrey falls apart. She throws an arm around him, the other still tight and shaking around Eren, and leans into Armin as she sobs.
[Her heart aches. This outpouring of love… god, for all she’s been told otherwise, she still feels like she doesn’t deserve it. But she takes it, clings to it like a lifeline, drowns herself in it. What else is she supposed to do? She cares for them terribly—Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert; everyone else she’s searched for here; and everyone this world has made her leave behind. And there’s so many…
[Fuck! She misses them! She misses her new friends who she never let in, promised she’d see tomorrow. She misses Sunny’s soft stare, how he swung as she talked to the point where she wasn’t sure if he was listening or not anymore, but it was okay, because he was outside and she could talk to him again. She misses Hero’s cheery optimism, the way his young adult dorkishness always shone through no matter how much he grew up, the stupid winks and assurances that said he had it all figured out when none of them really did. She misses Kel’s jokes and gags and teases, fumbling over himself to make a point, forgetting what’s important sometimes but always bouncing back; how he was so, so sure they’d be together, this time. She misses Mari’s song. She misses Basil. Basil, Basil, Basil, Basil, Basil.]
I’m sorry. [They’re in his house, and it’s empty.] I’m sorry....
[Armin doesn't have a strong understanding of who Basil is, but he does know who grief is. They've been walking hand in hand for years now.
[He holds her, pulling her head down against his chest with a hand to the back of it. He takes care not to disturb her bow. It reminds him a bit of Mikasa's scarf, the way Aubrey is always wearing it...]
I know...I know. [It's a soft whisper, soothing.]
It's alright, Aubrey. Just let it out...It's alright.
[In moments like this, breath jagged and heaving, nothing feels alright; like nothing will ever be alright again. And yet—Armin’s soft whispers, Eren pressing close to her as much as she can, her head on his chest. She wants it to be alright. She wants it more than anything.
[Armin’s care with her bow is noticed, too. He’s always been so good with her, even when she snapped at him; she remembers holding him at the beach, before he and Eren reunited… if that brought him just a drop of the comfort he’s giving her now....
[It’s a while before Aubrey can pull herself together enough to talk; even when she does, it’s choked.] Y-you know… what you said to me, when we met.
[She pulls back just enough to speak; but keeps Armin held close. She doesn’t want him to let go.] Dreams. Stories. Laughter. [It echoes, too, for Eren.]
[She's in so much pain - such terrible, terrible pain. Armin wills himself not to cry. This isn't about him. For once, they're focused on Aubrey. It's what she deserves.
[He doesn't let go of her when she pulls away. He won't until she tells him to.]
Yeah...? [It's a somewhat surprising revelation, but...he's glad.]
[She nods, as he speaks.] Yeah. [And a confirmation, when he stops.] It does....
[Words aren’t good for this, she realizes. Or at least Aubrey’s not eloquent enough for them. Every conversation, how she told it to Levi… hell, even before she and Eren got along, the way she tried to hold on to those words against his coldness. They’re a beacon.
[Words might not do it justice, but she’d regret not trying.]
It’s something to hold on to. Even now, I— [A pause to sniff, swallow. She could probably keep crying, but…] I want that. I want to laugh again with you. [Both of you. All of you.]
And I remember what you said, and… I know we will.
We will. [Armin squeezes Aubrey, still in his arms. When he smiles, there are tears in his eyes, and although the expression is pained, it's full of hope too.]
Aubrey...
We have everything we need to live happy lives here.
It isn't always easy. I know that. Sometimes it's horrifying.
[Aubrey looks up to him, physically, and his expression nearly throws her yet again. He’s smiling, tearing up… is he that touched? But that pained hope… it’s something else. Something better.
[It’s beautiful. Armin is beautiful. She looks into his glistening eyes and words don’t work, so…
[Briefly, softly, she kisses him again; on the cheek this time, with ample time to move if he doesn’t want it. It’s fine if he doesn’t. And regardless, a whisper through a pained smile:] Thank you....
[He isn't expecting the kiss. It's only on the cheek, but with no dare to provoke it, it feels...real, somehow. Armin's fingertips barely ghost over where he feels the shape of her lips lingering.
[He really wants nothing more, in that moment, then to kiss her again.
[But...they need to wait for Eren. He smiles, genuine, with a breathless laugh.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[And he leans in, lightly biting his own.]
1/2
[She giggles. Thumb bite in three, two—]
2/3 I lied
[—one. The girl explodes into a swarming mess of pitch black scribbles, consuming the scene.]
[Armin will feel as though his pinky’s being ripped off.]
3/3
[They’re back on the couch.]
…Yeah. Ah guesh ah’m [“I guess I’m”]—
[She spits out her thumb, confused.]
Are you okay?
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(Eren leaving was worse, for example). Still, it definitely hurts, and it's certainly shocking. Once they're both back in the living room, and Aubrey is back to normal, Armin can't wipe the shock off of his face.[He flexes his pinky a couple of times, one hand gripping the other.]
Am I-- Are you okay?
What...was that?
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I was just…
[Okay. Clearly something happened; Aubrey doesn’t remember hooking their fingers like that, or her thumb in her teeth. Is this how Eren felt…?]
[She frowns, concerned.] You got pulled away from here, didn’t you?
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[She doesn't remember?
[Was she there at all?]
I think...It was almost like a memory, but...
You were there. You were younger. We were on some sort of swing, promising to stay friends...
[Does he tell her about the next part? How everything went black? The pain?]
Something strange happened...
We were...consumed, almost, by this blackness. We had our pinkies hooked, but in that moment, it almost felt like mine was being torn off.
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[Swingset. Consuming blackness. A promise.... Aubrey’s expression tenses with recognition. The finger part, less so, but she has a guess....]
You know… I used to talk with my friend Sunny on a swingset. [How’s he doing, she wonders… it’s anyone’s guess, even with those last three days. For all Aubrey liked to think otherwise, he might’ve been closer to Basil in the end than anyone.]
He’s a good listener… [He is. She can’t bring herself to use past tense.] I talked to him about things I never told anyone else.
[Before the world can force it:] That question, about whether I’m clingy— yeah. I think I always have been.
[Her eyes wander down to her hands. A pinky promise… she’d always been afraid to ask.] I’ve always needed people more than they needed me.
[And it tears them apart.]
1/2
Eren and I.
We couldn't imagine life without you now. I know Eren agrees.
2/2
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[She tears up immediately.]
I… I love you, too. [A reach for their hands, one in each.] Both of you. [And a squeeze.]
[I need you. I trust you. I love you.] So much....
[And I miss them.]
1/3
[They don't have to be dating for that to be true.]
2/3
"Behold my vow."
3/3
I'm sorry, Aubrey. It's hard. [He leans over to wrap his arms around her if she'll let him.]
It's so hard...
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[She allows it.
[Aubrey falls apart. She throws an arm around him, the other still tight and shaking around Eren, and leans into Armin as she sobs.
[Her heart aches. This outpouring of love… god, for all she’s been told otherwise, she still feels like she doesn’t deserve it. But she takes it, clings to it like a lifeline, drowns herself in it. What else is she supposed to do? She cares for them terribly—Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert; everyone else she’s searched for here; and everyone this world has made her leave behind. And there’s so many…
[Fuck! She misses them! She misses her new friends who she never let in, promised she’d see tomorrow. She misses Sunny’s soft stare, how he swung as she talked to the point where she wasn’t sure if he was listening or not anymore, but it was okay, because he was outside and she could talk to him again. She misses Hero’s cheery optimism, the way his young adult dorkishness always shone through no matter how much he grew up, the stupid winks and assurances that said he had it all figured out when none of them really did. She misses Kel’s jokes and gags and teases, fumbling over himself to make a point, forgetting what’s important sometimes but always bouncing back; how he was so, so sure they’d be together, this time. She misses Mari’s song. She misses Basil. Basil, Basil, Basil, Basil, Basil.]
I’m sorry. [They’re in his house, and it’s empty.] I’m sorry....
[She lost him long before he died.]
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[He holds her, pulling her head down against his chest with a hand to the back of it. He takes care not to disturb her bow. It reminds him a bit of Mikasa's scarf, the way Aubrey is always wearing it...]
I know...I know. [It's a soft whisper, soothing.]
It's alright, Aubrey. Just let it out...It's alright.
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[In moments like this, breath jagged and heaving, nothing feels alright; like nothing will ever be alright again. And yet—Armin’s soft whispers, Eren pressing close to her as much as she can, her head on his chest. She wants it to be alright. She wants it more than anything.
[Armin’s care with her bow is noticed, too. He’s always been so good with her, even when she snapped at him; she remembers holding him at the beach, before he and Eren reunited… if that brought him just a drop of the comfort he’s giving her now....
[What if she’d talked about it, back then?]
[It’s a while before Aubrey can pull herself together enough to talk; even when she does, it’s choked.] Y-you know… what you said to me, when we met.
[She pulls back just enough to speak; but keeps Armin held close. She doesn’t want him to let go.] Dreams. Stories. Laughter. [It echoes, too, for Eren.]
I… remember that a lot.
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[He doesn't let go of her when she pulls away. He won't until she tells him to.]
Yeah...? [It's a somewhat surprising revelation, but...he's glad.]
It really is true. There's always something...
And it matters. It matters a lot.
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[She nods, as he speaks.] Yeah. [And a confirmation, when he stops.] It does....
[Words aren’t good for this, she realizes. Or at least Aubrey’s not eloquent enough for them. Every conversation, how she told it to Levi… hell, even before she and Eren got along, the way she tried to hold on to those words against his coldness. They’re a beacon.
[Words might not do it justice, but she’d regret not trying.]
It’s something to hold on to. Even now, I— [A pause to sniff, swallow. She could probably keep crying, but…] I want that. I want to laugh again with you. [Both of you. All of you.]
And I remember what you said, and… I know we will.
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Aubrey...
We have everything we need to live happy lives here.
It isn't always easy. I know that. Sometimes it's horrifying.
But it's beautiful too. We've made it beautiful.
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[Aubrey looks up to him, physically, and his expression nearly throws her yet again. He’s smiling, tearing up… is he that touched? But that pained hope… it’s something else. Something better.
[It’s beautiful. Armin is beautiful. She looks into his glistening eyes and words don’t work, so…
[Briefly, softly, she kisses him again; on the cheek this time, with ample time to move if he doesn’t want it. It’s fine if he doesn’t. And regardless, a whisper through a pained smile:] Thank you....
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[He really wants nothing more, in that moment, then to kiss her again.
[But...they need to wait for Eren. He smiles, genuine, with a breathless laugh.]
Of course. Always.