[So they understand, Aubrey thinks—or at least, there’s no denying how deep this runs. This might still prove to be a mistake, especially when she’s not sure what Mari thinks of Eren now, but… well, it’s a start. It’s honest. That’s all Aubrey can be, really.
[Then, she will continue. But… god, where to start.
[Maybe at the beginning.]
Mari, I know this can’t sound good to you— Hell, Armin, I don’t think you know either, but…
[She swallows. Steel yourself, Aubrey.]
When I got here… for a long time, Eren was all I had. We just kept… meeting each other, again and again, and— I didn’t even like him at first, and there’s no way he did, either. But…
[She’s not making this sound any better, is she? She’s well over a foot in the grave now, though.]
I almost died. He saved my life. And later, I… I saved his, too. And I’ve seen sides of him that— Armin knows, he came alive again. He’s human, and he’s always been human.
I…
[How does steeling even work, anyway? Aubrey’s not sure she’s ever managed it.]
I fell in love with him.
[Her expression is twisted—not unlike her confession by the lake, not unlike her vow to Reiner. It’s that same horrible, wonderful emotion, churning and gnawing and burning; she loves Eren. She can’t not love Eren. It hurts, and she could tell and has told herself she wants nothing more. Just that, just him, forever.]
[But Armin is here. Mari is here now, too. Aubrey’s not kidding herself anymore.
[That’s just the problem.]
[Mari moves to speak; Aubrey forces herself to continue.]
I fell in love with Eren Jaeger, and I tried to ignore everything I ever hated about him. And—I can’t do that. And when the world reminded me, I… I broke his heart.
[Aubrey’s voice breaks, too. Her outstretched fist closes, jagged, as she speaks.] That’s when I swore I’d help him… always. Because I will. And I want him to be happy again, and I don’t want him to cage himself anymore, I want him to live, and I just…
[She’s so, so tired.]
I care about him so much. I think it’s killing us.
But I love him.
I really, truly do.
1/1 wow novel
[So they understand, Aubrey thinks—or at least, there’s no denying how deep this runs. This might still prove to be a mistake, especially when she’s not sure what Mari thinks of Eren now, but… well, it’s a start. It’s honest. That’s all Aubrey can be, really.
[Then, she will continue. But… god, where to start.
[Maybe at the beginning.]
Mari, I know this can’t sound good to you— Hell, Armin, I don’t think you know either, but…
[She swallows. Steel yourself, Aubrey.]
When I got here… for a long time, Eren was all I had. We just kept… meeting each other, again and again, and— I didn’t even like him at first, and there’s no way he did, either. But…
[She’s not making this sound any better, is she? She’s well over a foot in the grave now, though.]
I almost died. He saved my life. And later, I… I saved his, too. And I’ve seen sides of him that— Armin knows, he came alive again. He’s human, and he’s always been human.
I…
[How does steeling even work, anyway? Aubrey’s not sure she’s ever managed it.]
I fell in love with him.
[Her expression is twisted—not unlike her confession by the lake, not unlike her vow to Reiner. It’s that same horrible, wonderful emotion, churning and gnawing and burning; she loves Eren. She can’t not love Eren. It hurts, and she could tell and has told herself she wants nothing more. Just that, just him, forever.]
[But Armin is here. Mari is here now, too. Aubrey’s not kidding herself anymore.
[That’s just the problem.]
[Mari moves to speak; Aubrey forces herself to continue.]
I fell in love with Eren Jaeger, and I tried to ignore everything I ever hated about him. And—I can’t do that. And when the world reminded me, I… I broke his heart.
[Aubrey’s voice breaks, too. Her outstretched fist closes, jagged, as she speaks.] That’s when I swore I’d help him… always. Because I will. And I want him to be happy again, and I don’t want him to cage himself anymore, I want him to live, and I just…
[She’s so, so tired.]
I care about him so much. I think it’s killing us.
But I love him.
I really, truly do.