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You do too, Aubrey. We all do.
[It’s as much a matter of Armin being “just as bad” as them as it is a matter of them being “just as good”.]
[‘I don’t.’ ‘You don’t know me, either.’ Or even ‘It doesn’t matter what we deserve, anyway, when we just get this.’ But it’s all stifled. Aubrey cries in earnest, like it feels like she has every fucking day since they barged back into her life, changing it yet again, irrevocably, forever.
[Focus, Aubrey. Don’t… don’t get lost in that, now.]
Armin… [He’s here, now. She can control herself enough to focus on that.] Why do you think we’re here…?
[It's so hard. It's all so hard. And she's only a kid. They're all just kids.]
I can't pretend to know the answer to that, but...
[How does he put this...?]
Maybe it's something we all need.
[Maybe for the best that Armin doesn’t reach out. It’s occurring to Aubrey that she’s started to associate this disgusting overflow with Eren’s arms; she wants him, how the hell is she supposed to face him after this, the works. It’s Armin who’s been hurt more here, anyway; Aubrey wouldn’t want it.]
[She centers on his answer, instead. May the self-pitying sentiment of deserved punishment not eat her alive for two seconds.]
“Something we all need,” huh… [Aubrey rubs her eyes. Might’ve got some sawdust in them; whatever. They’d be red after this anyway.] Why’s that?
I'm not sure...[His answer, for Armin, is surprisingly distant, as if distracted.]
It just feels...significant. And not necessarily malevolent, the more I think about it...
[A disembodied voice sent by the universe itself to break Armin's spirit back into something honest - this is something he endured not thirty minutes ago, and yet...]
Not that I approve of what we've been through - you two especially - but it's just as I said; if there are intentions behind it at all, I'm not sure that they're to cause suffering for the sake of suffering. That's all.
Rihanna’s methods are cruel, Armin.
[Aubrey tries not to hear his answer as sharply as she did his talk of lessons and calculation. Besides, she took it to heart even then.]
I don’t like it… [Unsteady breath in. The rest comes out in a sigh, weary.] …but you’re probably right.
Anything you don’t want to talk about, or face or hear or whatever… it’s here.
[Including people. Or at least, Armin and Reiner for Eren; Bertholdt for Armin. Mari’s an outlier, it seems. Aubrey doesn’t want to connect that last dot yet.]
I guess… it does tend to go better, when you don’t resist it.
[After all, he was fairly cooperative with the game overall. Still, it was punishing; not as punishing as Eren and Aubrey's experiences (or so Armin understands them).
[How much torture do those two let themselves endure before giving in...?]
It's a dilemma, right? As humans, we want everything to have a purpose or a reason. We want to know why what's happening is happening. We want to know how.
Maybe there isn't a purpose. That's a possibility too. But I don't like it as much...
[His smile is as weary as her sigh.]
Call me a romantic, I guess.
Hey, that’s not an insult. [Aubrey isn’t quite feeling a laugh, but she manages a small, brief smile in return.] Fairy tales might be fake, but… there are moments.
And I guess, even if there’s not a purpose after all…[Arguably a more terrifying thought than a malicious reason. At least that’d imply something to fight back against. Then again, grueling things happening for no reason… kind of a theme, isn’t it?]
…it’s like you said. We have each other.
In general. [A reluctant caveat, but…]
We need each other.
And if there really isn’t a purpose, then…I guess that just leaves it up to us to decide.
That idea - it’s almost sort of…freeing, don’t you think?
[It’s a fair omission. A nice thought, that someday they might all really have each other… It sounds impossible, but so would being stuck in a malleable space with people from another world. And Armin, at least, has been shaping his space pretty damn well.]
Yeah. I guess that is a kind of freedom. [Aubrey’s smile is, if tired, more genuine this round.]
We’ll figure it out. Especially if you’re here.
Aubrey, I hope this goes without saying, but I feel no ill will toward you for any reason.
Genuinely, I mean that. I know this conversation has been...awkward, to say the least, but...I'm not upset with you.
[Freedom in captivity. Idly Aubrey wonders what Eren would think of that; surely nothing good. (She knows she broke his heart; she doesn’t quite realize how close he was to drawing this very conclusion.)]
[It takes her a moment to respond to the rest.]
—Oh, no, it. I never thought you were. [Impatient, maybe, but not at her. It’s weird to recognize that consciously. He has every right to be furious....]
I’m… sorry for snapping at you, earlier. Not to put you on a pedestal or anything [or so she’ll try], but… you’ve really been nothing but patient, even now. [Aubrey swallows. She hopes the appreciation is implicit enough.]
If there’s ever stuff you want to talk about… I’ll listen. Even if it’s awkward.
And the same to you.
I'm good with patience, and I try to be a good listener.
I consider you a friend, Aubrey. [With a little smile.] I hope you feel the same, even given the circumstances.
[He's not sure he's as much as said so out loud before. It's a term that he's used both loosely and stringently in his life; but for Aubrey, it fits. And they should be friends. After all, she's...married (?) to Eren now.]
Definitely. [No hesitation, this time. There’s a lot she doesn’t know about Armin, still, and back home she might’ve been a lot slower… but hell, they’ve been through too much here not to consider him one. And even if they hadn’t, she’d probably want him to be. He’s just…]
Hope this world stays kind to you, Armin. Well, kind as this place ever is. [Aubrey should probably leave before she gets emotional again. But…]
[Muttering, somewhat:] Other offer’s still open, if you want. From earlier. [A side glance.] No pressure.
[He does expect Aubrey to leave after she says that, but she doesn't. The "other offer"...?]
To hit things? [At this, a teasing smile.] You want another round with the ODM gear? Is that it?
I think that could be arranged.
[…]
Well, I mean. I wouldn’t complain.
[She shrugs. Her arms are, rather awkwardly, raised, as if weighing the option.]
Up to you.
[He holds out his arm.]
Come on then - oh, grab your bat first. I'll show you how to swing while we're in the air.
[…You know what? Fuck it. Practically the same thing, anyway, yeah?]
Alright. If you insist.
[With a quick ‘>:P’, Aubrey picks up her bat, and throws an arm around Armin for round 2.]
[In Eren and Armin’s memory, they talked about the ocean. Armin was thinking about it, too, when he summoned the rain. Aubrey swore she’d show them both; the world hasn’t given her the chance. Or maybe she hasn’t intended it enough.
[But when she thinks about finding Eren peace, the memory rolls in like the tide. The beach she finds herself on is familiar yet not; where she remembers umbrellas and stray castles, there’s only sand. Sand, a shoreline—and, arranged neatly in a picnic basket, slices of watermelon. Looks fresh and juicy. It’s a memory Basil immortalized. Snacks like that taste better shared…]
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[As Aubrey takes her shoes off and ties her jacket around her waist, she notices she’s not alone. Someone’s already here, standing in the water. From the back, the figure’s only faintly familiar. Has she seen clothes like that before? But the hair, short and blonde… No, too tall. But maybe…]
[Leaving the basket for the moment, Aubrey steps tentatively towards the shore.]
Armin?
[He hadn't been expecting to end up back here, and this peaceful ocean seems farther from Hell than he's ever been.
[Of course, living without Eren is and always will be a Hell of its own. Maybe that's the true punishment for Armin's sins. He hadn't wanted to consider it before.
[Where are you, Eren? Armin fears the worst - nothing he isn't used to.
[With saltwater at his feet and saltwater in his eyes, he hears a familiar voice. It's not the voice he's longing for, but he turns all the same.
[Aubrey. He curses his heart for leaping. Just because she's here doesn't mean that Eren is. Just because the dead can appear doesn't mean that he will. He tells himself not to get his hopes up; it's impossible.]
Aubrey.
[He holds up a hand from the sea. There's a smile on his face; it's utterly broken.]
You're here.
Eren, too. [That smile told her everything.]
[Just a quick glance back to the sands, stretching on and on like the water. Not a soul.] He’s not here, right now, but… [She takes his hand, but keeps her eyes away; an attempt at reassurance and privacy both.]
…he’s here.
Eren-- He? H-he? H-h-he?
[At the squeeze, she grips his hand in both of hers. It’s a terrible sound that escapes him; she knows it too well.]
…Yeah.
[There’s a thousand more things to say. Not yet. An echo, barely mouthed, then:] Yeah.
[Armin falls to his knees in the sand, hand tugging on Aubrey's, begging for her to join him so he can throw his arms around her and sob.]
[She kneels. She offers an arm. His arms take her first, and Aubrey reaches around Armin’s back and holds him tight.]
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